It has been an interesting Christmas. A lot of odd things have happened and people breaking presents rules making me feel bad--either spending too much or getting presents for people when we had agreed to refrain from buying presents...awkward.
I still love Christmas! Midnight mass at the Cathedral was the definition of AWESOME! I love the strings and the brass and the acoustics in there. Phenomenal.
In case you missed it, this is actually a pretty quality version, and the parts are linked within the video so you can move on and see the whole thing. LOVED this special.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Office Party
While I do not really have an office, we still had a party. Let me tell you, it was epic. We played games. And everyone who did not already know found out (much to their horror as we stared down a 25 pound ham) that I am vegan. I hate that conversation enough, but in a group setting...awful. I took my own advise and refrained from consuming vodka water with lemon all night and instead went for Rum and Cider, emphasis on the Rum. When the cider ran out, I switched to coke. Far inferior, I should think.
Toi, this came-up on MSN's top 5 stories the Tuesday after your holiday party, so I am sorry that I could not share it before your experience. Of course, it sounds like you did just fine, and most of this is common sense, though I like the one about your boss's husband and the bit about the too-drunk co-worker. Like they'll want to sit and have a drink of water. Good luck, Chuck.
ANYway, the best thing about the holiday party is that it got me out of Neener's bachelorette party. w00t! I love Neener and despite what my blog may convey, we *are* friends, but I do not feel the need to play "Guess who bought Neener these panties" and I am generally good with skipping the games where you suck on popsicle penises (MMMono is likely asking: how is that really different from a regular popsicle? I do not know, nor do I care to find out). And, friends, these are only the things that I *imagine* they were doing. I am sure it was far worse.
I popped in for one drink. Neener was already completely shit faced, and then I went to a very, very chill party and nearly fell asleep because I was all wound and liquered-up, so what else could I do in the face of watching a movie that I had already seen a bazillion times, no matter how much I love it?
Success!
Toi, this came-up on MSN's top 5 stories the Tuesday after your holiday party, so I am sorry that I could not share it before your experience. Of course, it sounds like you did just fine, and most of this is common sense, though I like the one about your boss's husband and the bit about the too-drunk co-worker. Like they'll want to sit and have a drink of water. Good luck, Chuck.
ANYway, the best thing about the holiday party is that it got me out of Neener's bachelorette party. w00t! I love Neener and despite what my blog may convey, we *are* friends, but I do not feel the need to play "Guess who bought Neener these panties" and I am generally good with skipping the games where you suck on popsicle penises (MMMono is likely asking: how is that really different from a regular popsicle? I do not know, nor do I care to find out). And, friends, these are only the things that I *imagine* they were doing. I am sure it was far worse.
I popped in for one drink. Neener was already completely shit faced, and then I went to a very, very chill party and nearly fell asleep because I was all wound and liquered-up, so what else could I do in the face of watching a movie that I had already seen a bazillion times, no matter how much I love it?
Success!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Size Matters
As I am sure you are all aware, I am the bestest clearance rack shopper EVER! I rock the socks off with my awesome skillz.
So, here I am at a random department store, combing through the clearance rack (which was ginormous for it being to close/far from Christmas) in the Juniors’ department. I refuse to shop in the old lady section, even if I do get to wear a smaller size there and everything is work appropriate. I don’t know how frequently you shop clearance, but you certainly cannot trust the size indicated on the hanger and everything is jammed in super tight and not so attractively displayed, so sometimes you must just go by color and pull things out to look at them if they seem even quasi promising.
So I pull out this dress that’s light purple on top and black on the bottom and it looks about my size, so I read the tag: X SMALL. It looks about right, though, so I am confused. I decide to put it in my pile of “to try on in fitting room” and continue browsing along my merry way. Throughout the clearance rack I pull some larges and extra larges, my normal Junior Department size, and proceed to the fitting room. The L’s and XL’s were too big, so I went back for Mediums, which fit fine. That X SMALL dress? Totally fit. Super cute. Bought it.
WTF, Junior Size chart? I have complained vocally before about being at “XL” because I am an average size, but you actually listened to me? I know that I have not changed sizes, so either the measurements have changed, or each brand has its own sizing. I am relatively certain that it is the later, which is just annoying. I would like to once again vocalize that we should have the same sizing scheme as Men’s clothing. Pants should be by waist and inseam. Dresses should reflect your bust and hip measurements. I am okay with S/M/L for tops, but why can’t we have a common size across brands. I am sick of being a Small and NYC and a Medium at Old Navy and having to **remember** that for every store that I ever shop at, even if I just want a plain colored long-sleeve shirt. This is not to mention pants sizing. My father has suggested that some stores are intentionally low to raise sales: if you fit into a "smaller" size, you are likely to return there. Of course, this is just confusing when I am a 6 or 7 in one store and a 13 in another. It's just awkward to keep sizing up and the sales people think you are delusional for wanting a 7 when you have such broad, child-bearing hips.
Size matters. Not for my self esteem, but for my convenience and enjoyment of the shopping experience. Can we at least post the sizing chart like online stores so that I can just figure it out that way?
Get your shit straight, American clothing producers--I am not the insane one.
So, here I am at a random department store, combing through the clearance rack (which was ginormous for it being to close/far from Christmas) in the Juniors’ department. I refuse to shop in the old lady section, even if I do get to wear a smaller size there and everything is work appropriate. I don’t know how frequently you shop clearance, but you certainly cannot trust the size indicated on the hanger and everything is jammed in super tight and not so attractively displayed, so sometimes you must just go by color and pull things out to look at them if they seem even quasi promising.
So I pull out this dress that’s light purple on top and black on the bottom and it looks about my size, so I read the tag: X SMALL. It looks about right, though, so I am confused. I decide to put it in my pile of “to try on in fitting room” and continue browsing along my merry way. Throughout the clearance rack I pull some larges and extra larges, my normal Junior Department size, and proceed to the fitting room. The L’s and XL’s were too big, so I went back for Mediums, which fit fine. That X SMALL dress? Totally fit. Super cute. Bought it.
WTF, Junior Size chart? I have complained vocally before about being at “XL” because I am an average size, but you actually listened to me? I know that I have not changed sizes, so either the measurements have changed, or each brand has its own sizing. I am relatively certain that it is the later, which is just annoying. I would like to once again vocalize that we should have the same sizing scheme as Men’s clothing. Pants should be by waist and inseam. Dresses should reflect your bust and hip measurements. I am okay with S/M/L for tops, but why can’t we have a common size across brands. I am sick of being a Small and NYC and a Medium at Old Navy and having to **remember** that for every store that I ever shop at, even if I just want a plain colored long-sleeve shirt. This is not to mention pants sizing. My father has suggested that some stores are intentionally low to raise sales: if you fit into a "smaller" size, you are likely to return there. Of course, this is just confusing when I am a 6 or 7 in one store and a 13 in another. It's just awkward to keep sizing up and the sales people think you are delusional for wanting a 7 when you have such broad, child-bearing hips.
Size matters. Not for my self esteem, but for my convenience and enjoyment of the shopping experience. Can we at least post the sizing chart like online stores so that I can just figure it out that way?
Get your shit straight, American clothing producers--I am not the insane one.
Monday, December 13, 2010
World Travelling: local outlook
Oh, God! It's almost been a month. Epic fail. Aussie is apparently not allowed to have a blog any more, since she can't keep this one alive.
I talked to most of you about travels, so I'll save that post for after I have gone through the 1,427 pictures that I took. Nope, didn't make that number up. Actual number of pictures that I took. At one point, my brother said "I think you have enough pictures to prove that you've been here." He later suggested that I use a picture 360 program to get a digital moodel of the Colloseum. I am considering this strongly.
In terrifying news, the person in charge of watering my plants at work failed me miserably. My spider plant is brown and sad. I am taking it home so that it can be nursed back to health. I haven’t even had it long enough to name it! I think it is a “her”, though, as they have babies.
I have also started to plan my spring break (woo hoo!), as travelling always gives me the travel bug. As does reading about travel. And hearing about travel. And being reminded of anything that links back to previous travels. Basically, I like to travel. I am currently on a quest to visit all 50 states. This is going to be epic. I have yet to determine the time line here, but I am thinking that within the next five years is very do-able. I am also considering what fulfills the criteria of visiting that will allow me to check it off of the list. Let’s vote:
A. Having spent the night and visited the major city
B. Visited the major city or attraction, not necessarily spent the night
C. Having eaten a meal in the state
D. Having seen 5 out of 10 of the major attractions of the state
E. Varies by state, based on a composite of geographic area and percentage of Republicans with guns
Depending on what criteria we use, I have anywhere from 8-19 states already done!
I talked to most of you about travels, so I'll save that post for after I have gone through the 1,427 pictures that I took. Nope, didn't make that number up. Actual number of pictures that I took. At one point, my brother said "I think you have enough pictures to prove that you've been here." He later suggested that I use a picture 360 program to get a digital moodel of the Colloseum. I am considering this strongly.
In terrifying news, the person in charge of watering my plants at work failed me miserably. My spider plant is brown and sad. I am taking it home so that it can be nursed back to health. I haven’t even had it long enough to name it! I think it is a “her”, though, as they have babies.
I have also started to plan my spring break (woo hoo!), as travelling always gives me the travel bug. As does reading about travel. And hearing about travel. And being reminded of anything that links back to previous travels. Basically, I like to travel. I am currently on a quest to visit all 50 states. This is going to be epic. I have yet to determine the time line here, but I am thinking that within the next five years is very do-able. I am also considering what fulfills the criteria of visiting that will allow me to check it off of the list. Let’s vote:
A. Having spent the night and visited the major city
B. Visited the major city or attraction, not necessarily spent the night
C. Having eaten a meal in the state
D. Having seen 5 out of 10 of the major attractions of the state
E. Varies by state, based on a composite of geographic area and percentage of Republicans with guns
Depending on what criteria we use, I have anywhere from 8-19 states already done!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
En Francais, s'il vous plait
Less than two weeks before France and Italy! Bah!!!!!
I am so excited!!!!!!! But also, omg. I have so much to do before this trip, what was I thinking with the timing? I have Harry Potter, I have to make 6 pies, which means first preparing the pumpkin, which takes 6 hours in and of itself. I am singing in a wedding on Saturday, followed by an RCIA dinner. Sunday I have to go to a choir concert, then go to Mass twice, once for RCIA and them again to cantor. I work Monday and Tuesday and then I am off to Auntie's house to help with Thanksgiving. I will be back on Friday and am skipping Black Friday so that I can pack for my trip, because I have a choir concert on Saturday AND on Sunday and then Mass twice, again, and am leaving on Monday. Oh, and did I mention that I have absolutely no plans for either trip yet. I will likely bring the travel books on the plane with me and voraciously read them therein, so that I will know where Versailles is. And I need to print metro maps. And figure out how to get from the Airport to the hotel and back to the airport, at the very least.
Taking vacations is stressful.
Friends, I am in need of some assistance that the interwebs is not providing. You see, I speak enough French to get directions, conjugate verbs, and be polite. And *hopefully* get through customs. My brother speaks Spanish, so I think he will be okay in Italy for sure.
I've only been through customs in Australia, where they are crazy mo-fos because it is an island...is it safe to assume that Paris and Rome are a bit more chill on a short visit from peeps with USA passports?
What Italian do we think I need for customs...or will there not be customs between Paris and Rome? What French would Brother need to get through in Paris? Or, if I just teach him to say "Je suis un touriste" and "Parlez-vous anglais?" do we think it'll be okay?
I mean, tons of Brits must come through, right?
Guidance, oh wise amies!
I am so excited!!!!!!! But also, omg. I have so much to do before this trip, what was I thinking with the timing? I have Harry Potter, I have to make 6 pies, which means first preparing the pumpkin, which takes 6 hours in and of itself. I am singing in a wedding on Saturday, followed by an RCIA dinner. Sunday I have to go to a choir concert, then go to Mass twice, once for RCIA and them again to cantor. I work Monday and Tuesday and then I am off to Auntie's house to help with Thanksgiving. I will be back on Friday and am skipping Black Friday so that I can pack for my trip, because I have a choir concert on Saturday AND on Sunday and then Mass twice, again, and am leaving on Monday. Oh, and did I mention that I have absolutely no plans for either trip yet. I will likely bring the travel books on the plane with me and voraciously read them therein, so that I will know where Versailles is. And I need to print metro maps. And figure out how to get from the Airport to the hotel and back to the airport, at the very least.
Taking vacations is stressful.
Friends, I am in need of some assistance that the interwebs is not providing. You see, I speak enough French to get directions, conjugate verbs, and be polite. And *hopefully* get through customs. My brother speaks Spanish, so I think he will be okay in Italy for sure.
I've only been through customs in Australia, where they are crazy mo-fos because it is an island...is it safe to assume that Paris and Rome are a bit more chill on a short visit from peeps with USA passports?
What Italian do we think I need for customs...or will there not be customs between Paris and Rome? What French would Brother need to get through in Paris? Or, if I just teach him to say "Je suis un touriste" and "Parlez-vous anglais?" do we think it'll be okay?
I mean, tons of Brits must come through, right?
Guidance, oh wise amies!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Why?!?!?!
Do you have those friends that are a huge drain on your time because they are needy and mopey and sad? And then you see them around other people and realize that you are not even a **good** friend of theirs? Because they ignore you and act superior to you when these others are around?
Lame. Annoying. There are many words to describe this, but I digress.
Well, one of this special brood has been very...needy...lately. I try to be nice, but if you are not going to tell me what is wrong but just dance around it and say "woe is me"--let's face it, this can only go on so long.
So, when at 1am this morning I get a phone call from said person, I wanted to rip my hair out in frustration. I had to be at school in 6 hours, which meant that I had to get up in 5 which meant I was sleeping! Friends, when working 40-50 hours a week, sleep is very important. Add to this the fact that I love sleep. I love sleeping so much that in College I had a designated "Sleep-in Day" on the calendar.
Luckily, I refrained from answering with "Who dares disturb my slumber," opting instead for "Listen, I hate to be a downer, but I only answered to make it stop ringing, because I want to sleep before I have to get up in 5 hours. Actually, I thought that the ringing was my alarm."
THEN HE APOLOGIZED FOR 10 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!! I not only understand, but appreciate the apology, but for the love! Just say "sorry. I can call later--or shoot you an email."
In summary: do not call me at 1am on a work night. You have been warned.
Lame. Annoying. There are many words to describe this, but I digress.
Well, one of this special brood has been very...needy...lately. I try to be nice, but if you are not going to tell me what is wrong but just dance around it and say "woe is me"--let's face it, this can only go on so long.
So, when at 1am this morning I get a phone call from said person, I wanted to rip my hair out in frustration. I had to be at school in 6 hours, which meant that I had to get up in 5 which meant I was sleeping! Friends, when working 40-50 hours a week, sleep is very important. Add to this the fact that I love sleep. I love sleeping so much that in College I had a designated "Sleep-in Day" on the calendar.
Luckily, I refrained from answering with "Who dares disturb my slumber," opting instead for "Listen, I hate to be a downer, but I only answered to make it stop ringing, because I want to sleep before I have to get up in 5 hours. Actually, I thought that the ringing was my alarm."
THEN HE APOLOGIZED FOR 10 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!! I not only understand, but appreciate the apology, but for the love! Just say "sorry. I can call later--or shoot you an email."
In summary: do not call me at 1am on a work night. You have been warned.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wrong answer.
You guys! You would be so proud of me…I was such a hard-ass yesterday. I wonder if the students are starting to refer to me using nasty words. You see, JesusSchool has a stringent discipline policy. In the handbook it states that any teacher can give any student a detention for a long list of behaviors, including dress code violations, swearing, cheating, stealing, vandalizing, other standards, and “Any other behavior deemed disruptive to the learning environment” which I take o mean “Anything that annoys me.” Awesome.
A strict no-cell phone policy is also in place. Students may not use or access their cell phones anywhere on the grounds between the first warning bell and the bell for final dismissal. At all. Ever. Not during lunch, nor pass time, nor when they are in the bathroom. This is pretty clear, right?
I have been nice so far with getting back into the swing of things. For instance, I looked straight at a senior boy on the football team and said “Make sure your shirt is tucked in, because out of the corner of my eye, it looks like it’s not—lame reason for a detention.” Or, “What did you just say? ‘Cause it sounds like I might need to find that detention pad already. . .” These have been met with hastily tucked-in shirts by all of the boys around, murmerred apologies, and even a "Yes, Ma'm."
So when a student was texting in a stairwell during class yesterday, I told her to hand it over. She looked at me like I was the devil incarnate. Based on her size and attitude, she was a sophomore or junior.
Aussie-the-Enforcer: You know better. Hand it over. You can get it back from me after school.
Rule-Breaker-with-a-Cell-Phone-and-a-cocky-attitude: I’m just on my way to class.
AtE: Then you won’t need your cell phone. You can get it after school.
RBwaCPaaCA (finishing and sending text): I wasn’t even using it.
AtE: Sure looks and sounds like it. You can either pick it up after school from the library or from the office with your detention. Your choice.
RBwaCPaaCA (reading text that she just received): I have to get back to class.
AtE: Main Office with a detention it is. Name?
RBwaCPaaCA (handing over Cell Phone with a huge sigh and eye roll) : Whatever. [Exit]
Apparently, when you take a cell phone, the student cannot actually pick it up. Their mother or father must report to the office to retrieve it. If I had to get my kid's phone from the office, I would be pissed. You can't go after work, so you would have to do it in the morning. Gross. Talk about a deterrent. Hassle from a teacher, cell phone taken away, parents pissed, and a two hour detention.
At least that beezie totally deserved it.
A strict no-cell phone policy is also in place. Students may not use or access their cell phones anywhere on the grounds between the first warning bell and the bell for final dismissal. At all. Ever. Not during lunch, nor pass time, nor when they are in the bathroom. This is pretty clear, right?
I have been nice so far with getting back into the swing of things. For instance, I looked straight at a senior boy on the football team and said “Make sure your shirt is tucked in, because out of the corner of my eye, it looks like it’s not—lame reason for a detention.” Or, “What did you just say? ‘Cause it sounds like I might need to find that detention pad already. . .” These have been met with hastily tucked-in shirts by all of the boys around, murmerred apologies, and even a "Yes, Ma'm."
So when a student was texting in a stairwell during class yesterday, I told her to hand it over. She looked at me like I was the devil incarnate. Based on her size and attitude, she was a sophomore or junior.
Aussie-the-Enforcer: You know better. Hand it over. You can get it back from me after school.
Rule-Breaker-with-a-Cell-Phone-and-a-cocky-attitude: I’m just on my way to class.
AtE: Then you won’t need your cell phone. You can get it after school.
RBwaCPaaCA (finishing and sending text): I wasn’t even using it.
AtE: Sure looks and sounds like it. You can either pick it up after school from the library or from the office with your detention. Your choice.
RBwaCPaaCA (reading text that she just received): I have to get back to class.
AtE: Main Office with a detention it is. Name?
RBwaCPaaCA (handing over Cell Phone with a huge sigh and eye roll) : Whatever. [Exit]
Apparently, when you take a cell phone, the student cannot actually pick it up. Their mother or father must report to the office to retrieve it. If I had to get my kid's phone from the office, I would be pissed. You can't go after work, so you would have to do it in the morning. Gross. Talk about a deterrent. Hassle from a teacher, cell phone taken away, parents pissed, and a two hour detention.
At least that beezie totally deserved it.
Scientifically Proven
I have observed that the majority of students at JesusSchool are quite fit. I have not seen any obese children. This seemed a bit...odd...to me, considering that we in America are allegedly experiencing an obesity epidemic.
From the Journal of International Health Science, you can find the recent study "Are obese becoming idiots?":
"Huizinga et al (15) showed that low numeracy numeracy Mathematical literacy Neurology The ability to understand mathematical concepts, perform calculations and interpret and use statistical information. Cf Acalculia. skills are associated with higher BMI. Low numeracy skills and obesity are both common. Numeracy skills are used in healthy weight management to monitor caloric pertaining to heat or to calories. "
So, using this conclusion (taken from this paper:
(15.) Huizinga MM, Beech BM, Cavanaugh KL, Elasy TA, Rothman RL. Low numeracy skills are associated with higher BMI. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2008;16(8):1966-8.
I come to the conclusion that JesusSchool students are obese because they possess the ability to add and subtract. So, smart kids are not fat. That means that only smart kids go to JesusSchool?
Oh, wait, maybe I should finish reading this research study...
"School performance of overweight children has been found to be inferior to normal weight children; however, the reason(s) for this link between overweight and academic performance remain unclear."
Did they really use the (s) to pluralize that? Seriously? Grammar aside, silly scientists, did you really just say that you have nothing to say? It *could* be that they are fat and stupid, just like all of the mean kids say, but it could also be that they don't care about life in general...school work or weight, or that they are naturally chubby and depressed because they are so consistently teased so they do not want to draw attention to themselves through academic performance. OR there is only correlation, not causation. This is my biggest scientific and statistical pet peeve. Just because two events or reactions are correlated does not mean that one is causing the other, or even that what is causing A is also causing B. Epic Fail, science people. Epic Fail. At least you had a catchy title.
From the Journal of International Health Science, you can find the recent study "Are obese becoming idiots?":
"Huizinga et al (15) showed that low numeracy numeracy Mathematical literacy Neurology The ability to understand mathematical concepts, perform calculations and interpret and use statistical information. Cf Acalculia. skills are associated with higher BMI. Low numeracy skills and obesity are both common. Numeracy skills are used in healthy weight management to monitor caloric pertaining to heat or to calories. "
So, using this conclusion (taken from this paper:
(15.) Huizinga MM, Beech BM, Cavanaugh KL, Elasy TA, Rothman RL. Low numeracy skills are associated with higher BMI. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2008;16(8):1966-8.
I come to the conclusion that JesusSchool students are obese because they possess the ability to add and subtract. So, smart kids are not fat. That means that only smart kids go to JesusSchool?
Oh, wait, maybe I should finish reading this research study...
"School performance of overweight children has been found to be inferior to normal weight children; however, the reason(s) for this link between overweight and academic performance remain unclear."
Did they really use the (s) to pluralize that? Seriously? Grammar aside, silly scientists, did you really just say that you have nothing to say? It *could* be that they are fat and stupid, just like all of the mean kids say, but it could also be that they don't care about life in general...school work or weight, or that they are naturally chubby and depressed because they are so consistently teased so they do not want to draw attention to themselves through academic performance. OR there is only correlation, not causation. This is my biggest scientific and statistical pet peeve. Just because two events or reactions are correlated does not mean that one is causing the other, or even that what is causing A is also causing B. Epic Fail, science people. Epic Fail. At least you had a catchy title.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Maybe it's your Masters Degree
While prepping last night for class today (yes, I am still an Awesome procrastinator), I realized that my initial plans for my class are, well, a bit high-brow.
In case you don't remember slash did not take the class that I now teach, it is lame. And easy. But, it is the best way to do things like yell at incoming Freshies about unintentional plagiarism and show them how to use big-kid databases.
A big part of the course is using quality search terms, which sometimes means using a variety. One of the exercises in the beginning of the class is pulling 3 key words from a thesis and coming up with 2 synonyms for each keyword. Easy, right?
Apparently, wrong. The class is almost over and they still do not get it. Well, to be fair, many of them do. Others, however, are the definition of awful. For example, the term "family" had the synonym "blood". Am I being ridiculous here, guys? I mean, I think it is fairly obvious that you should use "relatives". I was *not* that bad when I took the class--and I do not understand how the average grade right now is a 71%. Okay, mathematically I do because I have 1 kid who is not turning anything in, but taking that aside, average is 76%. Zawhat?
Are my expectations really that high? I mean, I am the good kind of educator that discusses common mistakes on an assignment after grading, but they are still not getting it. I cannot imagine that my expectations are too high, since I have no expectations after they plagiarized their assignment on plagiarism.
Yay for teaching strategies like diversification, I suppose, because now they get to do a worksheet on this as group work! Hurray! That means that I can plan next week while they are in class this week.
Best. teacher. EVER!
In case you don't remember slash did not take the class that I now teach, it is lame. And easy. But, it is the best way to do things like yell at incoming Freshies about unintentional plagiarism and show them how to use big-kid databases.
A big part of the course is using quality search terms, which sometimes means using a variety. One of the exercises in the beginning of the class is pulling 3 key words from a thesis and coming up with 2 synonyms for each keyword. Easy, right?
Apparently, wrong. The class is almost over and they still do not get it. Well, to be fair, many of them do. Others, however, are the definition of awful. For example, the term "family" had the synonym "blood". Am I being ridiculous here, guys? I mean, I think it is fairly obvious that you should use "relatives". I was *not* that bad when I took the class--and I do not understand how the average grade right now is a 71%. Okay, mathematically I do because I have 1 kid who is not turning anything in, but taking that aside, average is 76%. Zawhat?
Are my expectations really that high? I mean, I am the good kind of educator that discusses common mistakes on an assignment after grading, but they are still not getting it. I cannot imagine that my expectations are too high, since I have no expectations after they plagiarized their assignment on plagiarism.
Yay for teaching strategies like diversification, I suppose, because now they get to do a worksheet on this as group work! Hurray! That means that I can plan next week while they are in class this week.
Best. teacher. EVER!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Young Love
Okay.....so I have it on good authority (my own observations) that Singin' Red likes the new teacher at work. It's kind of cute, although I think that she has resigned herself to never getting married or really dating anyone. But I think they are actually kind of cute together. He teaches science and coaches football, so he's kind of stockier, but still normal guy stature. Plus, he is super quiet. Singin' Red is def. a talker and well....she is a singer...the juxtaposition is perfect!!!!!!!!
Is it out of place for me to ask her if she really does like him? Can I ask him if he likes her? I am NOT a good match-maker. Although, I do not think that I would eff it up like Emma...or "Cher"
Is it out of place for me to ask her if she really does like him? Can I ask him if he likes her? I am NOT a good match-maker. Although, I do not think that I would eff it up like Emma...or "Cher"
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Bad Life Choice
God is punishing me today. Actually, I can’t really say that. I deserve it. No, not even “I deserve it” is appropriate, because that implies that God is in fact punishing me, which He is not. If we’re being honest, I brought this on myself. Today is a result of a bad life choice.
According to Urban Dictionary, bad life choices do not exist. Way to fail me, Urban Dictionary. Just when I thought we were friends. The alternate and apparently preferred term is “bad life decision,” defined thusly:
A decision that results in regretful mornings and bruised knees. A bad life decision is any hilarious decision committed under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or diner food. The term is often shortened to its acronym BLD.
This alternate term does not properly reflect the weight of the bad life choice, reducing the occurrence, instead, to hilarity. Being a good librarian, I attempted an alternate search statement: poor life choice. Again, to no avail. Why, Urban Dictionary, do you hate me? This, I will actually blame on Urban Dictionary, anthropomorphizing the site into an entity capable of hatred. This hatred is currently directed at me for reasons unknown, as commonly Urban Dictionary and I are besties. They email me every day! Back to the point, “poor life decision” is defined as:
Any choice made by an individual which results in shame, remorse, guilt, embarrassment, harassment, and other related feelings/consequences. These decisions tend to be hastily made and are usually pre-meditated, often with the understanding that negative feelings and ruined reputations are soon to follow. These poor life decisions (also often referred to as "PLD's") are elected for the sole purpose of self-gratification, attention, sexual pleasure, or to cure boredom. Often, these decisions involve sexual-based interactions with relative strangers and tend to result in morning-after stories of seemingly good ideas gone awry. Note: Alcoholic beverage consumption tends to increase the rate of PLD occurrences.
You see, premeditation is not a determining factor in a bad life choice. Bad life choices just happen and then you have to deal with the fallout. The bad life choice does not present itself as a poor decision, but escalation, a change in circumstances, or unforeseen complications in carrying out an activity or plan that, until this turning point, seemed perfectly normal and logical. These are sometimes comical, but are generally mild to moderate instances of misfortune. These pale in comparison to the Epic Fail, though are along the same line. The progression is as follows in the Fail Scale:
Fail ---> Bad Life Choice ---> Epic Fail
So now, my well-versed in the ways of failure in relation to choices friends, you can see how Urban Dictionary failing me only adds to the fail that is my day.
Friends, I will hold you in suspense any longer. I know that you are reading rapidly, skimming, even, to discover what sort of situation KFH got into this time. You may even be rolling your eyes, as you ask yourself “what did Aussie do?”
My bad life choice was going to the bar with Noa on a school night. Before you become outraged at this revelation of the subject matter of this post. I mean, going to the bar on a school night is not inherently bad. This is why it is a bad life choice. The original plan was to leave the bar at 11, drive Noa home, be in bed by midnight. And of course, I would not get drunk. Easy, right? Very do-able.
Have we met? This is why it was a bad life choice: it is originally just fine and dandy until an outside force intervenes, creating a poor situation that I was too drunk to react to. You see, Gardella’s has half off all drinks on Wednesday nights. HALF OFF!!!!!!!! Very exciting for the dedicated alcoholic on a budget. Plus, they come in Ball Jars. Ball. That is just baller. I mean, they say “Ball” on them. It validates my being. Still not a bad life choice.
The bad life choice happened when I was suddenly drunk. I did not realize that the Ball jar, being the “Tall” option was so big. Typically a tall beer is 12-14 ounces, so they are a standard beer and a half. The Ball jars are 16 ounces, which I discovered after the second tall hit me and Noa had ordered another round while I was in the Loo. No big deal. It’s only 10:40…we’ll get done with these and then kip out and ball our way home.
So, when we left the bar at 11:30 feeling pretty awesome, we decided to stumble into a second bar. Come the exit from said second establishment at the idiotic hour of 1am, I had made a bad life choice. I have to leave the house at 7am to get to work, which means getting up at 6:15 to shower and get ready. Lack of sleep in and of itself would be just fine and tolerable, excepting that I was drunk. So, after driving Noa home, I didn’t get home until 2:20ish, when I promptly got into my jammies, snuggled up with Pookey and fell sound asleep before my head hit the pillow.
I don’t know if you have experienced this cruel aspect of alcohol-related sleep deprivation, so allow me to explain, in realistic detail, my morning. When you wake up too soon after a night of drinking, it is difficult to move because you are so tired, never mind that it is the pitch dark of the six o’clock hour. I prefer to wake up to a post-noon sun after a night of too many drinks. Plus, my house was super cold. Lame. So, you are stumbling in the dark and, let’s face it, you are tired and everybody is less than sure-footed in the groggy first steps of any cold and dark morning. Then you experience the deciding step that does not land anywhere near where you planned or anticipated. You have to stop because it is spiny or disorienting. As you hunker down to steady or perhaps reach out for a nearby door frame or piece of furniture, your mind is processing that you are not just tired, but still drunk. Now your morning becomes a major problem. You have two choices: call in “sick” and go back to bed or man-up and get your ass into that shower.
While the warm (or hot) water of the shower feels soothing, it is a hidden curse. You see, the still drunk mind does not fully realize pain until that pain is eased and then comes back. This is the torture of the still drunk body ache shower. You have two options: hurry the F up and get out quickly, or take the slowest shower in the history of mankind in an attempt to prevent further unnecessary pain and to find the perfect position where everything feels fine. I have been told that sitting on a milk crate works well. I do not have a milk crate, so I cannot report firsthand on this finding. I have, however, been still drunk and thrown up in the shower. This is the only instance where I have called in sick and gone back to bed when alcohol was involved. I am quite proud of this fact.
World mildly or moderately spinning, not able to move very quickly or efficiently, you are a perfectly timed morning routine’s worst nightmare. Of course, your concept of time is way off, so you probably spent too long in the shower. To make matters worse, standard morning activities tend to be done in a slightly jumbled order. Any thoughts come from a vague shadow of the thought process, as though through a murky fog or veil. Luckily, the rote memory and ingrained necessities are seldom neglected. This is how I managed to place in the left earring after I placed the right, and what I attribute my clean teeth and presence of deodorant to.
On such a work day after a night of drinking, it is important to avoid displaying common signals of alcohol-related shenanigans in front of co-workers. Of course, most things can be attributed to a long week or a poor night’s sleep—both of which are typically true. Unmistakable indicators, however, should be avoided at all costs. This is why, as much as all I wanted to do this morning was drink a gallon of water in one pull, I sipped from my water bottle while amicably conversing with a co-worker. Other things to avoid include giving the sense that you are dizzy or fatigued. Interestingly enough, your brain is not capable of engaging in REM sleep while there is alcohol in your system, which is what causes the drowsy, fatigued symptom. The other big one is coordination and dizziness. You need a plan. You need to know where you are going, how you are going to get there and then do it. This means walking with purpose, but not rushed, and then sitting down when you get there. Do not grip a wall or make a big deal about a klutz move—they will know and it will be your ass. Luckily, I did not suffer from dizziness post-shower, so I did not have to deal with this, because I have been on my feet and walking around all day. Good times.
This Aussie Exploit was definitely on the fail scale. It is too serious to be a general Fail. Fails contain a purely comic element. It is also not the gravity or stuff of legends to achieve the Epic Fail. “How is this not an epic fail?” you might ask. “Surely, this is an epic post about an equally Epic Fail.” My friends, an Epic Fail would have included me parking on the sidewalk or perhaps me forgetting to set my alarm. Skipping work because I was too drunk to set my alarm and get my ass out of bed would be an Epic Fail.
This is by far my longest blog post ever. It should count as two! I hope that you enjoyed every word.
Clearly, I should not drink with Noa on a school night. . .bad life choice.
According to Urban Dictionary, bad life choices do not exist. Way to fail me, Urban Dictionary. Just when I thought we were friends. The alternate and apparently preferred term is “bad life decision,” defined thusly:
A decision that results in regretful mornings and bruised knees. A bad life decision is any hilarious decision committed under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or diner food. The term is often shortened to its acronym BLD.
This alternate term does not properly reflect the weight of the bad life choice, reducing the occurrence, instead, to hilarity. Being a good librarian, I attempted an alternate search statement: poor life choice. Again, to no avail. Why, Urban Dictionary, do you hate me? This, I will actually blame on Urban Dictionary, anthropomorphizing the site into an entity capable of hatred. This hatred is currently directed at me for reasons unknown, as commonly Urban Dictionary and I are besties. They email me every day! Back to the point, “poor life decision” is defined as:
Any choice made by an individual which results in shame, remorse, guilt, embarrassment, harassment, and other related feelings/consequences. These decisions tend to be hastily made and are usually pre-meditated, often with the understanding that negative feelings and ruined reputations are soon to follow. These poor life decisions (also often referred to as "PLD's") are elected for the sole purpose of self-gratification, attention, sexual pleasure, or to cure boredom. Often, these decisions involve sexual-based interactions with relative strangers and tend to result in morning-after stories of seemingly good ideas gone awry. Note: Alcoholic beverage consumption tends to increase the rate of PLD occurrences.
You see, premeditation is not a determining factor in a bad life choice. Bad life choices just happen and then you have to deal with the fallout. The bad life choice does not present itself as a poor decision, but escalation, a change in circumstances, or unforeseen complications in carrying out an activity or plan that, until this turning point, seemed perfectly normal and logical. These are sometimes comical, but are generally mild to moderate instances of misfortune. These pale in comparison to the Epic Fail, though are along the same line. The progression is as follows in the Fail Scale:
Fail ---> Bad Life Choice ---> Epic Fail
So now, my well-versed in the ways of failure in relation to choices friends, you can see how Urban Dictionary failing me only adds to the fail that is my day.
Friends, I will hold you in suspense any longer. I know that you are reading rapidly, skimming, even, to discover what sort of situation KFH got into this time. You may even be rolling your eyes, as you ask yourself “what did Aussie do?”
My bad life choice was going to the bar with Noa on a school night. Before you become outraged at this revelation of the subject matter of this post. I mean, going to the bar on a school night is not inherently bad. This is why it is a bad life choice. The original plan was to leave the bar at 11, drive Noa home, be in bed by midnight. And of course, I would not get drunk. Easy, right? Very do-able.
Have we met? This is why it was a bad life choice: it is originally just fine and dandy until an outside force intervenes, creating a poor situation that I was too drunk to react to. You see, Gardella’s has half off all drinks on Wednesday nights. HALF OFF!!!!!!!! Very exciting for the dedicated alcoholic on a budget. Plus, they come in Ball Jars. Ball. That is just baller. I mean, they say “Ball” on them. It validates my being. Still not a bad life choice.
The bad life choice happened when I was suddenly drunk. I did not realize that the Ball jar, being the “Tall” option was so big. Typically a tall beer is 12-14 ounces, so they are a standard beer and a half. The Ball jars are 16 ounces, which I discovered after the second tall hit me and Noa had ordered another round while I was in the Loo. No big deal. It’s only 10:40…we’ll get done with these and then kip out and ball our way home.
So, when we left the bar at 11:30 feeling pretty awesome, we decided to stumble into a second bar. Come the exit from said second establishment at the idiotic hour of 1am, I had made a bad life choice. I have to leave the house at 7am to get to work, which means getting up at 6:15 to shower and get ready. Lack of sleep in and of itself would be just fine and tolerable, excepting that I was drunk. So, after driving Noa home, I didn’t get home until 2:20ish, when I promptly got into my jammies, snuggled up with Pookey and fell sound asleep before my head hit the pillow.
I don’t know if you have experienced this cruel aspect of alcohol-related sleep deprivation, so allow me to explain, in realistic detail, my morning. When you wake up too soon after a night of drinking, it is difficult to move because you are so tired, never mind that it is the pitch dark of the six o’clock hour. I prefer to wake up to a post-noon sun after a night of too many drinks. Plus, my house was super cold. Lame. So, you are stumbling in the dark and, let’s face it, you are tired and everybody is less than sure-footed in the groggy first steps of any cold and dark morning. Then you experience the deciding step that does not land anywhere near where you planned or anticipated. You have to stop because it is spiny or disorienting. As you hunker down to steady or perhaps reach out for a nearby door frame or piece of furniture, your mind is processing that you are not just tired, but still drunk. Now your morning becomes a major problem. You have two choices: call in “sick” and go back to bed or man-up and get your ass into that shower.
While the warm (or hot) water of the shower feels soothing, it is a hidden curse. You see, the still drunk mind does not fully realize pain until that pain is eased and then comes back. This is the torture of the still drunk body ache shower. You have two options: hurry the F up and get out quickly, or take the slowest shower in the history of mankind in an attempt to prevent further unnecessary pain and to find the perfect position where everything feels fine. I have been told that sitting on a milk crate works well. I do not have a milk crate, so I cannot report firsthand on this finding. I have, however, been still drunk and thrown up in the shower. This is the only instance where I have called in sick and gone back to bed when alcohol was involved. I am quite proud of this fact.
World mildly or moderately spinning, not able to move very quickly or efficiently, you are a perfectly timed morning routine’s worst nightmare. Of course, your concept of time is way off, so you probably spent too long in the shower. To make matters worse, standard morning activities tend to be done in a slightly jumbled order. Any thoughts come from a vague shadow of the thought process, as though through a murky fog or veil. Luckily, the rote memory and ingrained necessities are seldom neglected. This is how I managed to place in the left earring after I placed the right, and what I attribute my clean teeth and presence of deodorant to.
On such a work day after a night of drinking, it is important to avoid displaying common signals of alcohol-related shenanigans in front of co-workers. Of course, most things can be attributed to a long week or a poor night’s sleep—both of which are typically true. Unmistakable indicators, however, should be avoided at all costs. This is why, as much as all I wanted to do this morning was drink a gallon of water in one pull, I sipped from my water bottle while amicably conversing with a co-worker. Other things to avoid include giving the sense that you are dizzy or fatigued. Interestingly enough, your brain is not capable of engaging in REM sleep while there is alcohol in your system, which is what causes the drowsy, fatigued symptom. The other big one is coordination and dizziness. You need a plan. You need to know where you are going, how you are going to get there and then do it. This means walking with purpose, but not rushed, and then sitting down when you get there. Do not grip a wall or make a big deal about a klutz move—they will know and it will be your ass. Luckily, I did not suffer from dizziness post-shower, so I did not have to deal with this, because I have been on my feet and walking around all day. Good times.
This Aussie Exploit was definitely on the fail scale. It is too serious to be a general Fail. Fails contain a purely comic element. It is also not the gravity or stuff of legends to achieve the Epic Fail. “How is this not an epic fail?” you might ask. “Surely, this is an epic post about an equally Epic Fail.” My friends, an Epic Fail would have included me parking on the sidewalk or perhaps me forgetting to set my alarm. Skipping work because I was too drunk to set my alarm and get my ass out of bed would be an Epic Fail.
This is by far my longest blog post ever. It should count as two! I hope that you enjoyed every word.
Clearly, I should not drink with Noa on a school night. . .bad life choice.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Three in a row!
I was really, really tired yesterday. So tired that I slept for 12 hours last night. "But Aussie," my concerned friends say, "How ever did you manage that?" Well, friends, I hate to admit it, but I went to bed at 6pm for a nap after a long day of work, meetings and antihistamines making me drowsy and then I never woke up for dinner. It's like some sort of self-inflicted punishment of lameness.
In other news, I just found out that one of my favorite students--she comes into the library all of the time, eats her lunch up here and is super nice and funny and social and gives me her Oreo's from her lunch because she doesn't want them--drives here from an hour away. An HOUR AWAY! Why? She got kicked out of her last school and her mom decided that she needed to get back on the moral path. Ugh. But she is so nice! I do not understand.
For your enjoyment, this is a MMMono-inspired video. I really miss having cable, because I could watch educational yet adorable animals ALL. THE. TIME! It was awesome. Now, not so much. . . until YouTube helped me out. Bwahahahahaahaha *cough* ha.
In other news, I just found out that one of my favorite students--she comes into the library all of the time, eats her lunch up here and is super nice and funny and social and gives me her Oreo's from her lunch because she doesn't want them--drives here from an hour away. An HOUR AWAY! Why? She got kicked out of her last school and her mom decided that she needed to get back on the moral path. Ugh. But she is so nice! I do not understand.
For your enjoyment, this is a MMMono-inspired video. I really miss having cable, because I could watch educational yet adorable animals ALL. THE. TIME! It was awesome. Now, not so much. . . until YouTube helped me out. Bwahahahahaahaha *cough* ha.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Water, water. Cool and clean comes running on down.
When I was in fifth grade, we did student lead prayer services on days that we did not have church...so every day excepting Wednesday. I'm sure we did this in some shape or form every year I was in Catholic grade school, but this year sticks with me the most because I had an AWESOME fifth grade teacher. So, we would pick the music and who would read and who would do whatever...it was pretty standard, I think. Early in the year, our teacher introduced us to this song called "Water" which for some reason has been stuck in my head all day. It goes like this (yes, i even remember the tune):
Water, water.
Cool and clean comes running on down
Water, water!
Bubble up out of the ground.
Water, water.
Stormy seas that batter the coast.
Water, Water!
It's the thing that matters the most.
Come rain upon us,
the waters from the heavens
Just like with Moses in the desert!
Water, water...
and then I foget the other verses, but it is presumably something about Jesus.
You are probably asking yourself, or even aloud as though I can hear you, "Why are you wasting a few and far between blog posting on this? I am outraged!!!!!!!!!" Feel free to editorialize on the number of exclamation points to appropriately express your own level of outrage.
You see, friends, I have had this song stuck in my head, and then I read this article.
This makes me think:
1. I really want to see that movie again. Remember when we saw it together, Toi and Mono?
2. This cannot be a coincidence that I remember a song about water from 14 years ago and the world is going into a water crisis with water thieves.
Hmmm.
Water, water.
Cool and clean comes running on down
Water, water!
Bubble up out of the ground.
Water, water.
Stormy seas that batter the coast.
Water, Water!
It's the thing that matters the most.
Come rain upon us,
the waters from the heavens
Just like with Moses in the desert!
Water, water...
and then I foget the other verses, but it is presumably something about Jesus.
You are probably asking yourself, or even aloud as though I can hear you, "Why are you wasting a few and far between blog posting on this? I am outraged!!!!!!!!!" Feel free to editorialize on the number of exclamation points to appropriately express your own level of outrage.
You see, friends, I have had this song stuck in my head, and then I read this article.
This makes me think:
1. I really want to see that movie again. Remember when we saw it together, Toi and Mono?
2. This cannot be a coincidence that I remember a song about water from 14 years ago and the world is going into a water crisis with water thieves.
Hmmm.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Prodigal
How can a month go by so fast? Well, for starters, I have been insanely busy. I get to work before 7 and leave around 4:30. I am teaching 2 classes at alma matter and I have two choirs! I feel like an adult!
Downsides:
1. I do not have the time to post--in fact, I only just got caught-up on your postings!
2. I have not had any time to find an apartment. Which is actually okay, because I do not have the time to, you know, move.
Today was exciting...I was downtown at 7:30 to be ready to sing the National Anthem of Canada and the USA at the Marathon. Good times. Then I sang at mass. The Schola is shockingly promising this year. As in, we were fabulous before, but now I am just all kinds of excited about the choir's potential...if we did this well the first time out, I am very, very super excited for Christmas and tennebrae and other Jesus-y words.
I feel like an old lady these days. I fight to stay up past 9pm. Very lame.
The Vegan thing is going well. San Chez is possibly my favorite stop. Although, I do miss being able to go out for pancakes.
That's all for now, I suppose.
Downsides:
1. I do not have the time to post--in fact, I only just got caught-up on your postings!
2. I have not had any time to find an apartment. Which is actually okay, because I do not have the time to, you know, move.
Today was exciting...I was downtown at 7:30 to be ready to sing the National Anthem of Canada and the USA at the Marathon. Good times. Then I sang at mass. The Schola is shockingly promising this year. As in, we were fabulous before, but now I am just all kinds of excited about the choir's potential...if we did this well the first time out, I am very, very super excited for Christmas and tennebrae and other Jesus-y words.
I feel like an old lady these days. I fight to stay up past 9pm. Very lame.
The Vegan thing is going well. San Chez is possibly my favorite stop. Although, I do miss being able to go out for pancakes.
That's all for now, I suppose.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Working hard or hardly working
It definitely feels like both, kids, as I am run down and exhausted, yet I cannot seem to shake the feeling that I am accomplishing nothing. That, and I do stuff like this at work:
To: CCTeachers; CCStaff
Subject: Projectors and plants
Are you experiencing a sense of emptiness in the classroom this year? Do you feel yourself gravitating unwittingly toward a non-existent object? Perhaps it is because you did not pick-up your overhead projector from the library! I have PLENTY of projectors if you have a need for such a device or will later in the year. Projectors that go unclaimed face recycling. Rest assured, the library will hold on to a couple of the very nice ones, but 14 is too many.
Do you have a green thumb? Do you enjoy nursing virtually dead plants back to life? If so, stop by the library! I have watered for the past three weeks a number of plants but that is the extent of my ability to maintain another life. If you have ever wanted a spidery/viney library plant, this is your chance. They come in "generally healthy," "nearly dead," and "are you sure it is alive?" varieties. If these are not claimed, I will plant them in front of the building, thereby ruining the very expensive landscaping.
Seriously, though, I don't know what I'll do with them. Plants seeking good home: no reasonable offer refused.
~Aussie
To: CCTeachers; CCStaff
Subject: Projectors and plants
Are you experiencing a sense of emptiness in the classroom this year? Do you feel yourself gravitating unwittingly toward a non-existent object? Perhaps it is because you did not pick-up your overhead projector from the library! I have PLENTY of projectors if you have a need for such a device or will later in the year. Projectors that go unclaimed face recycling. Rest assured, the library will hold on to a couple of the very nice ones, but 14 is too many.
Do you have a green thumb? Do you enjoy nursing virtually dead plants back to life? If so, stop by the library! I have watered for the past three weeks a number of plants but that is the extent of my ability to maintain another life. If you have ever wanted a spidery/viney library plant, this is your chance. They come in "generally healthy," "nearly dead," and "are you sure it is alive?" varieties. If these are not claimed, I will plant them in front of the building, thereby ruining the very expensive landscaping.
Seriously, though, I don't know what I'll do with them. Plants seeking good home: no reasonable offer refused.
~Aussie
Monday, September 6, 2010
Whoops
I haven't blogged in quite some time. Sorry, friends. At least I have a good excuse. I got an AWESOME FULL-TIME JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!! With health insurance. And dental.
How exciting!!
In other news, I have so much work to do in the 2 high school libraries that are now under my charge. Essentially, I have to throw everything away and buy shiny new things. Yay! I, however, have no budget to do the aforementioned and absolutely necessary thing. Oh noes.
It should be an interesting year. Brace yourselves for photo updates of what I throw away...including but not limited to 1917 National Geographic magazines and 1982 encyclopedia sets.
In other news, I have a full-time job. Also, I am made of awesome.
How exciting!!
In other news, I have so much work to do in the 2 high school libraries that are now under my charge. Essentially, I have to throw everything away and buy shiny new things. Yay! I, however, have no budget to do the aforementioned and absolutely necessary thing. Oh noes.
It should be an interesting year. Brace yourselves for photo updates of what I throw away...including but not limited to 1917 National Geographic magazines and 1982 encyclopedia sets.
In other news, I have a full-time job. Also, I am made of awesome.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Foiled again
I meant to update last night, but I watched a DVD marathon of How I Met Your Mother instead. It was legen--wait for it. And I hope your not lactose intolerant because the the next part is--dary. Awesome.
I love Barney Stinson. And all of the Doogie Howser jokes that they work in.
In other news, my life is finally coming out okay. I hope. We'll see how my next two weeks go.
Also, this is totes how I pray. MMMMMono, back me up here.
I love Barney Stinson. And all of the Doogie Howser jokes that they work in.
In other news, my life is finally coming out okay. I hope. We'll see how my next two weeks go.
Also, this is totes how I pray. MMMMMono, back me up here.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Coming home
You guys...I am actually kind of excited about AQ Homecoming this year.
Is it because I love beer tents?
Perhaps it is my inherent love of Aquinas College blooming anew.
Is it the lecture at 2pm in Donelly?
Or, is it because I am an Aquinas professor now?
Library Literacy is going to be big ballin. All I'm saying.
Mono? Toi? SOMEone come be my friend!
Is it because I love beer tents?
Perhaps it is my inherent love of Aquinas College blooming anew.
Is it the lecture at 2pm in Donelly?
Or, is it because I am an Aquinas professor now?
Library Literacy is going to be big ballin. All I'm saying.
Mono? Toi? SOMEone come be my friend!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The music carries on
You guys, this is the last depressing dead Grandma story. Promise.
I associate music with my Grandma. It's very jarring to hear songs that we used to sing as kids with her playing the piano. So, anything good. Show tunes, Christmas carols, rat pack selections.
I have had this song stuck in my head for he past two days. My grandma and grandpa used to sing it together at the piano.
But, I get to sing with her at everyday now, right? So it's a way that she lives on. See? Not that depressing.
I associate music with my Grandma. It's very jarring to hear songs that we used to sing as kids with her playing the piano. So, anything good. Show tunes, Christmas carols, rat pack selections.
I have had this song stuck in my head for he past two days. My grandma and grandpa used to sing it together at the piano.
But, I get to sing with her at everyday now, right? So it's a way that she lives on. See? Not that depressing.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Grandma D.
If you didn't notice on my Facebook, my grandma died last night.
She had Lewy Body--physically Parkinson's and mentally Alzheimer's. She was still very lucid--she was getting weaker and weaker--sleeping 20-22 hours a day. She hadn't eaten since Saturday and was provided morphine from Hospice.
It is very sad to see my grandpa going through the mourning process. He is a very strong, stoic Italian and to see him cry makes it so very real.
Praying the rosary a lot...making dinner for the family...pasta, of course.
At least I get bereavement pay from work. Good times.
For g-ma
She had Lewy Body--physically Parkinson's and mentally Alzheimer's. She was still very lucid--she was getting weaker and weaker--sleeping 20-22 hours a day. She hadn't eaten since Saturday and was provided morphine from Hospice.
It is very sad to see my grandpa going through the mourning process. He is a very strong, stoic Italian and to see him cry makes it so very real.
Praying the rosary a lot...making dinner for the family...pasta, of course.
At least I get bereavement pay from work. Good times.
For g-ma
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Au revoir
I bought a plane ticket to Paris and Rome for December. I am going by myself. Maybe I'll find the love of my life. What part of the city should I find a hotel in?
Also, very excited to see Pomme.
Also, New York anecdotes coming soon.
Also, very excited to see Pomme.
Also, New York anecdotes coming soon.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The drive
*** I wrote a draft of this post in July. You know, when I got back from New York City. I didn't have the pictures ready to upload yet, so I saved it as a draft. Enjoy! ***
I've decided that I am going to milk this whole trip thing by telling you about it in stages. You know, to be more thorough. And to have more blog entries.
Have you ever driven with me through Ohio, Pennsylvania or New Jersey? I'm sorry to hear that you have not as of yet had that pleasure. As you know, I am AWESOME. This, coupled with my uncanny ability to refrain from peeing for days at a time (okay, not days, but more than 24 hours!) and my bubbly disposition, make me wonderful for going through such long states. No offense, Moi.
So, here we are driving, when I spot something that excites me greatly. My voice jumps two full octaves (quite the accomplishment for me, if I may say so) and I shriek: "Look! The rocks are starting to come out! I love rocks!!!!!!!"
I said this because, as you may have surmised, I find driving for 12 hours to be boring. And I love rocks. Especially the kinds that are found in mountain ranges. Yay.
Noa (who is now 21 and not really Noa anymore, but for consistency's sake...) responds rather dryly, even for her "Are we still in Ohio? And who likes rocks? They are boring. They are the most boring thing in the world."
People with pet rocks like rocks. It also stands to reason that people with rock collections like rocks. Besides, these are cool rocks. They are part of a mountain range. And some of them are red.
Then we noticed that we had been passing an inordinate number of busted tires in the road. So we started counting them about halfway through Ohio. By the time we got to our destination, we were at 73. That's just insane.
As we neared the end of Pennsylvania, it was diner time. We were going to merely snack on what was in the car, but then fate intervened. Signs reading "Blue Tequila, next exit" compelled a dinner break.
Excitedly, we pulled up. And then started having second thoughts. It was probably the shadiest restaurant to ever be attached to a Days Inn. The parking lot was filled with beat-up pick-ups and urban tumble weed:
When we got inside, Noa and I looked around to discover that this Blue Tequilla place is the cheap, boring version of The Beltline Bar on the inside. The lay-out was not nearly as awesome. I blame the Days Inn for this. Speaking of Days Inn, to go to the bathroom, Noa had to go to Days Inn. When she explained to the hotel staff that she was not staying the night, but she was eating at Blue Tequilla they looked at her funny, surmised that she was from out of town, and then let her use the employee restroom. Awesome.
The Menu:
Some drinks:
What is a "WOO-WOO"? Let me tell you:delicious. It is a vodka-cran with Peach Schnapps. I had two.
When we finally left merrily on our way, we crossed happily into New Jersey and hit THE WORST TRAFFIC EVER! And, of course, New Jersey has crappy radio stations. **hours** later, when we had finally inched another mile into New Jersey, the cars on the highway started driving at the posted speed for no apparent reason. Whatever, New Jersey. So, we get to the nice little house in the nice little neighborhood where we are staying with my very wealthy cousins (really my dad's cousin and his wife and kids) and Noa says "wow. These are really nice houses." But, the house number that we need does not exist. Uh-oh. We decide to call their house. SuperNiceWife picks-up the phone:
SNW:Hello?
Aussie: Hi! SNW?
SNW: Are you here? We were scared you might have gotten lost!
Aussie: I think we might be. Well, either that, or I have the wrong house number...
SNW: [gives house number]
Aussie: Okay, lost it is! The GPS has us in the wrong place.
Noa: [light bulb goes off] When I input the destination when we left my house, there were two options for their house! I just remembered because it was **hours** ago.
Aussie: Let's switch it then!
Noa: okay!
::The GPS takes a convoluted way back to the same house::
Aussie: Shut the front door!
SNW: [gives us directions]
We arive at the house. Remember how Noa (and I, honestly) thought that the other houses were super nice? Well, their house is an old Victorian style house, maintained much in that style and was at least 3 times the size of the others, with a gorgeous garden. I mean, gorgeous.
Their kitchen was almost the size of a four-person apartment at Aquinas. We had a whole floor of the house to ourselves. A TV room, bedrooms and a bathroom. Insane.
Plus, they were super nice and drove us to the train station and picked us up every night when we got back. SO NICE!
I've decided that I am going to milk this whole trip thing by telling you about it in stages. You know, to be more thorough. And to have more blog entries.
Have you ever driven with me through Ohio, Pennsylvania or New Jersey? I'm sorry to hear that you have not as of yet had that pleasure. As you know, I am AWESOME. This, coupled with my uncanny ability to refrain from peeing for days at a time (okay, not days, but more than 24 hours!) and my bubbly disposition, make me wonderful for going through such long states. No offense, Moi.
So, here we are driving, when I spot something that excites me greatly. My voice jumps two full octaves (quite the accomplishment for me, if I may say so) and I shriek: "Look! The rocks are starting to come out! I love rocks!!!!!!!"
I said this because, as you may have surmised, I find driving for 12 hours to be boring. And I love rocks. Especially the kinds that are found in mountain ranges. Yay.
Noa (who is now 21 and not really Noa anymore, but for consistency's sake...) responds rather dryly, even for her "Are we still in Ohio? And who likes rocks? They are boring. They are the most boring thing in the world."
People with pet rocks like rocks. It also stands to reason that people with rock collections like rocks. Besides, these are cool rocks. They are part of a mountain range. And some of them are red.
Then we noticed that we had been passing an inordinate number of busted tires in the road. So we started counting them about halfway through Ohio. By the time we got to our destination, we were at 73. That's just insane.
As we neared the end of Pennsylvania, it was diner time. We were going to merely snack on what was in the car, but then fate intervened. Signs reading "Blue Tequila, next exit" compelled a dinner break.
Excitedly, we pulled up. And then started having second thoughts. It was probably the shadiest restaurant to ever be attached to a Days Inn. The parking lot was filled with beat-up pick-ups and urban tumble weed:
When we got inside, Noa and I looked around to discover that this Blue Tequilla place is the cheap, boring version of The Beltline Bar on the inside. The lay-out was not nearly as awesome. I blame the Days Inn for this. Speaking of Days Inn, to go to the bathroom, Noa had to go to Days Inn. When she explained to the hotel staff that she was not staying the night, but she was eating at Blue Tequilla they looked at her funny, surmised that she was from out of town, and then let her use the employee restroom. Awesome.
The Menu:
Some drinks:
What is a "WOO-WOO"? Let me tell you:delicious. It is a vodka-cran with Peach Schnapps. I had two.
When we finally left merrily on our way, we crossed happily into New Jersey and hit THE WORST TRAFFIC EVER! And, of course, New Jersey has crappy radio stations. **hours** later, when we had finally inched another mile into New Jersey, the cars on the highway started driving at the posted speed for no apparent reason. Whatever, New Jersey. So, we get to the nice little house in the nice little neighborhood where we are staying with my very wealthy cousins (really my dad's cousin and his wife and kids) and Noa says "wow. These are really nice houses." But, the house number that we need does not exist. Uh-oh. We decide to call their house. SuperNiceWife picks-up the phone:
SNW:Hello?
Aussie: Hi! SNW?
SNW: Are you here? We were scared you might have gotten lost!
Aussie: I think we might be. Well, either that, or I have the wrong house number...
SNW: [gives house number]
Aussie: Okay, lost it is! The GPS has us in the wrong place.
Noa: [light bulb goes off] When I input the destination when we left my house, there were two options for their house! I just remembered because it was **hours** ago.
Aussie: Let's switch it then!
Noa: okay!
::The GPS takes a convoluted way back to the same house::
Aussie: Shut the front door!
SNW: [gives us directions]
We arive at the house. Remember how Noa (and I, honestly) thought that the other houses were super nice? Well, their house is an old Victorian style house, maintained much in that style and was at least 3 times the size of the others, with a gorgeous garden. I mean, gorgeous.
Their kitchen was almost the size of a four-person apartment at Aquinas. We had a whole floor of the house to ourselves. A TV room, bedrooms and a bathroom. Insane.
Plus, they were super nice and drove us to the train station and picked us up every night when we got back. SO NICE!
Monday, July 19, 2010
The Mastermind
My cousin is obsessed with the Meyer's Briggs test. I told him that I took it in college and he asked me what I got. Personally, I am shocked that I rattled off "INTJ" as though it was the nuclear bomb code. Frankly, I am shocked that I remembered.
He then spent the next 15 minutes discussing how I was The Mastermind and as he read through would stop and say "Oh this is totally you." and "I can see you xyz-ing".
Thanks?
In other news, I am still searching for full-time work. This sucks. I hate my life. But, at least there is some movement in my company. I might get the "Librarian" title soon. That will help immensely. A whole year after I got my degree. Why did I bust my ass to get through that again?
I am doing beaucoup travel in the next two months. Well, beaucoup pour moi. I still haven't found a Europe buddy, so I'm stuck in the states. I refuse to go abroad by my lonesome. I think if no one mans up and comes with me by the end of 2011, I will be literally forced to go by myself.
So, with travelling, I'll have more to report. Hopefully entertaining and fabulous things and not "And then my car broke".
That's all for now, I suppose.
He then spent the next 15 minutes discussing how I was The Mastermind and as he read through would stop and say "Oh this is totally you." and "I can see you xyz-ing".
Thanks?
In other news, I am still searching for full-time work. This sucks. I hate my life. But, at least there is some movement in my company. I might get the "Librarian" title soon. That will help immensely. A whole year after I got my degree. Why did I bust my ass to get through that again?
I am doing beaucoup travel in the next two months. Well, beaucoup pour moi. I still haven't found a Europe buddy, so I'm stuck in the states. I refuse to go abroad by my lonesome. I think if no one mans up and comes with me by the end of 2011, I will be literally forced to go by myself.
So, with travelling, I'll have more to report. Hopefully entertaining and fabulous things and not "And then my car broke".
That's all for now, I suppose.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
United
Not much new on the Aussie front.
Except now I'm a union representative. Cool, huh? We'll see how this one goes.
And the question of the day: black or grey?
Except now I'm a union representative. Cool, huh? We'll see how this one goes.
And the question of the day: black or grey?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Rain, rain
It rained all day. This made for AWESOME sleeping weather this morning. And then I got up and had to go to work.
Boo.
I am going to a Baby Shower this weekend. They are registered at Burlington Coat Factory. Really? They're really thinking ahead by getting that summer baby a load of coats...
In other news, it has come to my attention that MMMono does not read my blog. I came to discover this as I engaged her in a conversation under the assumption that she had the necessary knowledge from said blog and she was lost and I had to verbally tell her my blog entry. Not nearly as much fun. Also, Fail for MMMono.
And now, this is officially the trashing MMMono blog. She'll never read it anyway. Go on, it feels so good!
Boo.
I am going to a Baby Shower this weekend. They are registered at Burlington Coat Factory. Really? They're really thinking ahead by getting that summer baby a load of coats...
In other news, it has come to my attention that MMMono does not read my blog. I came to discover this as I engaged her in a conversation under the assumption that she had the necessary knowledge from said blog and she was lost and I had to verbally tell her my blog entry. Not nearly as much fun. Also, Fail for MMMono.
And now, this is officially the trashing MMMono blog. She'll never read it anyway. Go on, it feels so good!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
New Career choice
I am making the plunge. I am changing my career. No more waiting.
Wait for it....I am going to join the military to become a spy.
Seriously. Guys! Stop laughing!
Okay, maybe I've been watching too much Burn Notice...
Wait for it....I am going to join the military to become a spy.
Seriously. Guys! Stop laughing!
Okay, maybe I've been watching too much Burn Notice...
Friday, May 28, 2010
Nonchalance
I am attempting it. I am attempting to be okay with this situation, but I am simply not happy with the way my life is turning out. It is making me upset--reclusive, even. It is very difficult to get out of bed unless it is absolutely necessary. Even then, it takes FOREVER. I feign nonchalance, a lack of caring or strong emotion in the face of it, but how could I be nonchalant?
I went to see Rent--local theatre was putting it on and my friend a super hot, tragically gay friend--we'll call him Bari-- stared as Mark! That had the opposite effect as originally intended. I LOVE Rent, you guys. LOVE IT! Like, I was going to move to NYC and live in alphabet city and dance in the moonlight. Just depressed me a bit. The youth and wonder of my life is gone.
I have this stuck in my head, because BOY and I communicate in song sometimes and this is what he told me to do.
I went to see Rent--local theatre was putting it on and my friend a super hot, tragically gay friend--we'll call him Bari-- stared as Mark! That had the opposite effect as originally intended. I LOVE Rent, you guys. LOVE IT! Like, I was going to move to NYC and live in alphabet city and dance in the moonlight. Just depressed me a bit. The youth and wonder of my life is gone.
I have this stuck in my head, because BOY and I communicate in song sometimes and this is what he told me to do.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Wait, the line was where?!?!
Kids, I have crossed the line. Apparently, I aimed for the moon and hit the Delta Quadrant.
$port and I were chatting as per usual whilst I was "working". Abridged convo as follows:
Aussie: Are you emotionally prepared for me to make a bitchy comment?
$port: I'm always ready for that
Aussie: Good. One of the new ladies at work put up a picture of her 4 kids. It is a portrait studio pic and not only is it "funcitoning" as a calendar which annoys me greatly, but they are some ugly kids. I do not want to see that at work.
$port: Wow. You really need to quit your job - it's making you evil
Aussie: LMAO [No really. I laughed out loud and for an extended period of time]
$port: Seriously. That was an UBER bitch comment
Aussie: I warned you. . .
$port: No, bitchy is that someone smells funny. Don't even try to cover it up. Just go to confession and hang your head in shame
Will do, $port. Will do.
Guys, I really need a new job. It is a matter of my eternal soul's salvation. It took a great deal of soul-searching and moral direction for me to refrain from posting aforementioned pic on this here blog so as to let you all vote on the alleged ugliness of the children. Instead:
$port and I were chatting as per usual whilst I was "working". Abridged convo as follows:
Aussie: Are you emotionally prepared for me to make a bitchy comment?
$port: I'm always ready for that
Aussie: Good. One of the new ladies at work put up a picture of her 4 kids. It is a portrait studio pic and not only is it "funcitoning" as a calendar which annoys me greatly, but they are some ugly kids. I do not want to see that at work.
$port: Wow. You really need to quit your job - it's making you evil
Aussie: LMAO [No really. I laughed out loud and for an extended period of time]
$port: Seriously. That was an UBER bitch comment
Aussie: I warned you. . .
$port: No, bitchy is that someone smells funny. Don't even try to cover it up. Just go to confession and hang your head in shame
Will do, $port. Will do.
Guys, I really need a new job. It is a matter of my eternal soul's salvation. It took a great deal of soul-searching and moral direction for me to refrain from posting aforementioned pic on this here blog so as to let you all vote on the alleged ugliness of the children. Instead:
Friday, May 14, 2010
But, I didn't know that could happen
I was too tired to blog this yesterday, so you get this story today.
I was inspired by the rain to think summer thoughts. Of course, this translated into me driving through the yucky rain to go to te mall to look for a sundress. I found myself in Kohls (too dark), Rue 21 (too trashy) and finally Old Navy. Old navy had great colors, a variety of cuts--I still can't eyeball a dress and tell if the cut will flatter me or not--and I was excited.
I took a bunch to the fitting room for fun. I tried on this dress in blue, looked into the GORGEOUS reflection in the mirror and fell in love.
Too bad that when I turned to see the back, I about died. The scrunchy on the bottom hit right under my typically cute butt--and ruined my butt. It also made it appear that I had back fat. I HAVE NEVER TRIED SOMETHING ON IN MY LIFE THAT DID NOT MAKE MY BUTT LOOK GOOD. I AM VERY UPSET ABOUT THIS.
You see, friends, now that I have taken a breath, I know that this happened because the dress did not flow. It is the dresses fault, not mine.
Needless to say, I gave up on dress shopping for the day until I have reinforcements.
I was inspired by the rain to think summer thoughts. Of course, this translated into me driving through the yucky rain to go to te mall to look for a sundress. I found myself in Kohls (too dark), Rue 21 (too trashy) and finally Old Navy. Old navy had great colors, a variety of cuts--I still can't eyeball a dress and tell if the cut will flatter me or not--and I was excited.
I took a bunch to the fitting room for fun. I tried on this dress in blue, looked into the GORGEOUS reflection in the mirror and fell in love.
Too bad that when I turned to see the back, I about died. The scrunchy on the bottom hit right under my typically cute butt--and ruined my butt. It also made it appear that I had back fat. I HAVE NEVER TRIED SOMETHING ON IN MY LIFE THAT DID NOT MAKE MY BUTT LOOK GOOD. I AM VERY UPSET ABOUT THIS.
You see, friends, now that I have taken a breath, I know that this happened because the dress did not flow. It is the dresses fault, not mine.
Needless to say, I gave up on dress shopping for the day until I have reinforcements.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
It's gonna happen. Happen sometime!
You guys--something exciting has happened. I applied on a whim to the Naval Library in Quantico--you know, where Agent Gibbs works. Well, I got an email today. Guess who made it into the final round of application eliminations! That would be me. So in a token "DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL OR WE WILL BLACKLIST YOU AND ALSO SHRED YOUR APPLICATION AND REMOVE YOUR IDENTITY FROM SOCIAL SECURITY BECAUSE WE CAN DO THAT" email, I was informed that after a final review of applications, I might be asked for an interview-- ("THIS IS NOT A JOB OFFER"). Honestly, with all of those capitals, how am I supposed to know where the important parts are?
So, here's hoping. DC would be--I can't bear to count chickens, you guys, but suffice it to say that this may be what I have been waiting for. Here is hoping. I find myself praying about it every spare moment. For instance, right now at work, while I am writing this blog entry, I find myself stopping typing mid-sentence as I become overwhelmed with what is undeniably the most hope I have allowed myself to feel in quite a long time--and then I pray.
In other news, I was reading an article on CNN Money about why people hate their jobs now more than ever...and they interviewed this guy who works 80 hour weeks and hasn't gotten a raise in 2 years and was taking an offer with hirer salary and less hours. Smart! He decided to write a ginormous letter of resignation detailing what a shitty position he had...and the columnist said(paraphrasing) "yeah, don't do that. Ever. Bad life choice." Apparently, they can consider that to be your date of leaving instead of giving a 2 weeks and screw you out of vacation pay out and benefits. Yikes.
Oh, and yeah. Read this. I feel like Moi might actually be good at it...
More laters, but for now, it feels like maybe this time I'll win.
So, here's hoping. DC would be--I can't bear to count chickens, you guys, but suffice it to say that this may be what I have been waiting for. Here is hoping. I find myself praying about it every spare moment. For instance, right now at work, while I am writing this blog entry, I find myself stopping typing mid-sentence as I become overwhelmed with what is undeniably the most hope I have allowed myself to feel in quite a long time--and then I pray.
In other news, I was reading an article on CNN Money about why people hate their jobs now more than ever...and they interviewed this guy who works 80 hour weeks and hasn't gotten a raise in 2 years and was taking an offer with hirer salary and less hours. Smart! He decided to write a ginormous letter of resignation detailing what a shitty position he had...and the columnist said(paraphrasing) "yeah, don't do that. Ever. Bad life choice." Apparently, they can consider that to be your date of leaving instead of giving a 2 weeks and screw you out of vacation pay out and benefits. Yikes.
Oh, and yeah. Read this. I feel like Moi might actually be good at it...
More laters, but for now, it feels like maybe this time I'll win.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Man. Up.
By far the best thing about my relationship with $port is that I can say anything to him and he can say anything to me and we are cool. For instance:
$port: I broke my leg.
Aussie: Walk it off.
Aussie: $port, don't do that again. It makes you look like a proverbial chicken. You will never get laid.
$port: It's not that you're fat, you're just not attractive.
Aussie: It looks like something crawled on your head and died. Get a haircut.
$port: If you were on welfare, I feel like you would spend it wisely--on Patron.
Aussie: Seriously, Jew nose.
Okay, maybe that last one was too far and made him legitimately upset. Whoops. Walk it off.
In addition, our conversations are riddled with supportive phraseology
including but not limited to:
*man-up
*Go big or go home
*A lame blind man could xyz faster/better/with far more awesome
*I hope you die cold and alone
*Grow a pair
*what doesn't kill you was not properly executed. I'll try again.
So, when I told him that he needs to follow this hygiene regimen in order to man it up, I am happy to know that he understands me.
$port: I broke my leg.
Aussie: Walk it off.
Aussie: $port, don't do that again. It makes you look like a proverbial chicken. You will never get laid.
$port: It's not that you're fat, you're just not attractive.
Aussie: It looks like something crawled on your head and died. Get a haircut.
$port: If you were on welfare, I feel like you would spend it wisely--on Patron.
Aussie: Seriously, Jew nose.
Okay, maybe that last one was too far and made him legitimately upset. Whoops. Walk it off.
In addition, our conversations are riddled with supportive phraseology
including but not limited to:
*man-up
*Go big or go home
*A lame blind man could xyz faster/better/with far more awesome
*I hope you die cold and alone
*Grow a pair
*what doesn't kill you was not properly executed. I'll try again.
So, when I told him that he needs to follow this hygiene regimen in order to man it up, I am happy to know that he understands me.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Oh my ball!
Epic. That is what this week has been. Have to admit, started out pretty mundane, made a turn for crappy, and then shocked the world by rocking solid.
Today is Noa's birthday. We drank shots last night to Noa Kritzier. Best idea ever: shoot tequila without limes or salt and chase with---wait for it---snack pack.
We went to a decent but still ends up being shady and adventurous local dance establishment. Random guy number 3 decided that I was cute--which I was in my jean skirt and trendy accessories. So, we're dancing rather platonically--twirls and all--and he is attempting to make conversation while staring at my boobs without me noticing the gawking. Also, relatively certain that the spin/twirl move was invented by a guy that needed an incognito way to check out a girl's rump. Neither of these maneuvers is very effective when done drunk. The conversation was especially stimulating.
RG3: What's somebody like you doing in a place like this?
Aussi: It's my friend's birthday.
RG3: Did you bring all your friends?
Aussi: ...no? Wait, I don't understand--of course not.
RG3: Do you come here much?
Aussi: Not really, no.
RG3: I swear I've seen your face before.
Aussi: . . .sorry, I don't think that we've met before.
RG3: What's your name? What you drinking? Baby what's your sign, tell me yours I'll tell you mine.
Aussi: It's been fun. Talk to you later, bye!
Toi, I know that you're on to this...and I'm sure that the rest of you feel some sort of deja vu sense tingling. Thank you, Timbaland and Katy Perry, for sponsoring this club convo. I will never be the same.
Today is Noa's birthday. We drank shots last night to Noa Kritzier. Best idea ever: shoot tequila without limes or salt and chase with---wait for it---snack pack.
We went to a decent but still ends up being shady and adventurous local dance establishment. Random guy number 3 decided that I was cute--which I was in my jean skirt and trendy accessories. So, we're dancing rather platonically--twirls and all--and he is attempting to make conversation while staring at my boobs without me noticing the gawking. Also, relatively certain that the spin/twirl move was invented by a guy that needed an incognito way to check out a girl's rump. Neither of these maneuvers is very effective when done drunk. The conversation was especially stimulating.
RG3: What's somebody like you doing in a place like this?
Aussi: It's my friend's birthday.
RG3: Did you bring all your friends?
Aussi: ...no? Wait, I don't understand--of course not.
RG3: Do you come here much?
Aussi: Not really, no.
RG3: I swear I've seen your face before.
Aussi: . . .sorry, I don't think that we've met before.
RG3: What's your name? What you drinking? Baby what's your sign, tell me yours I'll tell you mine.
Aussi: It's been fun. Talk to you later, bye!
Toi, I know that you're on to this...and I'm sure that the rest of you feel some sort of deja vu sense tingling. Thank you, Timbaland and Katy Perry, for sponsoring this club convo. I will never be the same.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
No, really, still alive
Let's pretend that you don't need a 5 week update. It's all the same and too depressing to acknowledge that. EXCEPTING the use of flip-flops everyday now that the weather is nice.
Hmmm...I've been reading some really shitty books as of late. No, seriously. Worst books EVER. I feel like I can't do reader's advisory, but reader's dis-advisory. I suppose telling someone what not to read is still advise, so it is still advisory, though, isn't it.
I started watching LOST. I just finished the first season on DVD. wtf? Must get Season 2. It is currently in transit. Dominic M...whatever...Pippin is still alive and I know he dies at some point, because he quit the show or whatever. Other than that, I have no idea what happens excepting that there are 5 more seasons of them on the island. It is so suspenseful at the end of every single episode, I think I might die. I don't know how people hung on to the cliff for an entire summer. Mind boggling.
Nothing else to report.
Hmmm...I've been reading some really shitty books as of late. No, seriously. Worst books EVER. I feel like I can't do reader's advisory, but reader's dis-advisory. I suppose telling someone what not to read is still advise, so it is still advisory, though, isn't it.
I started watching LOST. I just finished the first season on DVD. wtf? Must get Season 2. It is currently in transit. Dominic M...whatever...Pippin is still alive and I know he dies at some point, because he quit the show or whatever. Other than that, I have no idea what happens excepting that there are 5 more seasons of them on the island. It is so suspenseful at the end of every single episode, I think I might die. I don't know how people hung on to the cliff for an entire summer. Mind boggling.
Nothing else to report.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Two in one month!
Toi and MMMMono, don't love me too hard. BestBossEVER! deserves some credit for this beyond fabulous find.
Okay, here is the deal. We are all going to be in the same room at some point this summer. I decided, so there you are. Submit your availability and location preferences, within reason. I know we all want London, but this is serious.
In addition, WTF Chuck's dad on Pushing Daisies? I can't get over your lameness and general duche-ridden state of being. Toi, no ruining, we have 4 episodes left.
Okay, here is the deal. We are all going to be in the same room at some point this summer. I decided, so there you are. Submit your availability and location preferences, within reason. I know we all want London, but this is serious.
In addition, WTF Chuck's dad on Pushing Daisies? I can't get over your lameness and general duche-ridden state of being. Toi, no ruining, we have 4 episodes left.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Fruit flies like bananas
Wow. I know I haven't updated in a while, but over a month? I swear I am not dead. I have been busy with Lent and travelling to Chicago and playing with MMMMono and choir and all sorts of things.
In other news, I have the travel bug--bad. Of course, getting the TravelZoo weekly top 20 email is NOT helping.
So, let's do this.
Oh, and Pomme and I have a renewed interest in Vermont. Fall foliage tour? Moi, we are picking you up on our way over. You have no choice.
In other news, I have the travel bug--bad. Of course, getting the TravelZoo weekly top 20 email is NOT helping.
So, let's do this.
Oh, and Pomme and I have a renewed interest in Vermont. Fall foliage tour? Moi, we are picking you up on our way over. You have no choice.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Ice Bear. Brrr.
Let's recap:
I still exist.
I hate my new job.
I am really hoping for a full-time gig anywhere. And soon. As in, I started looking in former members of the Confederacy. Not Texas, though.
I do not want to go to Neener's engagement party, but MMMMono is coming with me. Yay.
I flove this comic.
I still exist.
I hate my new job.
I am really hoping for a full-time gig anywhere. And soon. As in, I started looking in former members of the Confederacy. Not Texas, though.
I do not want to go to Neener's engagement party, but MMMMono is coming with me. Yay.
I flove this comic.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Adventures in babysitting
Today I:
played fetch
read 50 pages
played fetch
ate lunch
played fetch
emptied the cat litter
played fetch
drank a bottle of wine
played fetch
watched District 9 while playing fetch
ate dinner
played fetch
blogged while playing fetch
In summary: great day
played fetch
read 50 pages
played fetch
ate lunch
played fetch
emptied the cat litter
played fetch
drank a bottle of wine
played fetch
watched District 9 while playing fetch
ate dinner
played fetch
blogged while playing fetch
In summary: great day
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Puppy!!!!
House-sitting is so much fun!!!! I must admit, I am completely in love with Ch!pper's puppy! The second I walked through the door, he was ready to play. He is completely in love with his ball. He's so little! That is about 1/3 the size of a normal tennis ball. I think he would play for the rest of his life if someone continued to throw the ball. Look how long his tongue is!
The best part? When it is time for bed, the words "bed time" trigger him to gather his toys and put them back in his toy bin. Sold!
The best part? When it is time for bed, the words "bed time" trigger him to gather his toys and put them back in his toy bin. Sold!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
le sigh
I discovered some horrible things today.
- I am not me anymore
- All of the good ones are already gone
- Nothing can ever be as good as it was before
- I can not be what I want to be when I grow up
I discovered some great things today.
- There are a select few people in the world who will truly love you for who you are and will always support you and demand that you do better but understand you all in the same breath. These friendships will never die
- I have a new best friend.
- A bottle of wine can fix almost any problem
- I am not me anymore
- All of the good ones are already gone
- Nothing can ever be as good as it was before
- I can not be what I want to be when I grow up
I discovered some great things today.
- There are a select few people in the world who will truly love you for who you are and will always support you and demand that you do better but understand you all in the same breath. These friendships will never die
- I have a new best friend.
- A bottle of wine can fix almost any problem
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Outdoors!!!!!
You know how you have that song or video that you play when you feel like crap and it makes you feel a gazillion times better about life? Like Andre the puppy or Regina Spektor or Le Roi Soleil?
I have a new one!!!!!!!
I have a new one!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Fishes are silly
Hailey the Comet attempted suicide at 1:30 am. I woke up to a loud splash and flopping. I couldn't reach her, as she had gone out of the tank on the side by the wall. I could touch her, but I couldn't pick her up. Clearly, I shrieked for assistance. Apparently I sounded quite distressed because help arrived pseudo-immediately.
Crisis averted.
I've been scolding her all day.
Crisis averted.
I've been scolding her all day.
Friday, January 8, 2010
PO2K10
I am competing in a puzzle-off. I need to train. Moi, I wish you were in town to be my partner, because then we would rock it solid.
The Competition description:
"You and a partner race against other teams of two to complete in a small, cramped area, with an unlimited supply of orange drink. Matching outfits/sweaters/face-paint is highly encouraged and bonus points will be awarded for such shenanigans"
An unlimited supply of orange drink!!! Life is good, my friends.
I have 4 hours to complete a 500 piece puzzle with my partner. The box will have been stripped of its helpful picture of the puzzle. But, it bodes well that "Married couples working as a team will be penalized, as I assume that you spend your evenings sitting around working puzzles." Finally! Some justice in the world!
I've started a very strict training regimen, and am currently seeking the quickest way to do a puzzle. Would it behoove me to arrange middle pieces in a color spectrum while my partner works the border?
The Competition description:
"You and a partner race against other teams of two to complete in a small, cramped area, with an unlimited supply of orange drink. Matching outfits/sweaters/face-paint is highly encouraged and bonus points will be awarded for such shenanigans"
An unlimited supply of orange drink!!! Life is good, my friends.
I have 4 hours to complete a 500 piece puzzle with my partner. The box will have been stripped of its helpful picture of the puzzle. But, it bodes well that "Married couples working as a team will be penalized, as I assume that you spend your evenings sitting around working puzzles." Finally! Some justice in the world!
I've started a very strict training regimen, and am currently seeking the quickest way to do a puzzle. Would it behoove me to arrange middle pieces in a color spectrum while my partner works the border?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Tuesday
I have an interview. It's a paraprofessional, so not optimal, but it is technically information staff.
Question: if someone in their late 30s who has never been married asks me to go see a movie and maybe get a drink afterwards, is that a date? I was asked via facebook message, which makes me think no...but it is me, so I think I should check before I reply. No, he does not follow my blog.
Because it makes me giggle:
Question: if someone in their late 30s who has never been married asks me to go see a movie and maybe get a drink afterwards, is that a date? I was asked via facebook message, which makes me think no...but it is me, so I think I should check before I reply. No, he does not follow my blog.
Because it makes me giggle:
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
One more thing...
So, MMMono kind of freaked out at me. Her main complaint: No more Queso movie nights. I suggested hummus movie nights. She did not seemed thrilled. She then tried to persuade me that I could make a special exception for our Queso movie nights. I countered that then there would be no point in the first place.
My Clementine's sticker says "Seedless Greetings". Cute!
My Clementine's sticker says "Seedless Greetings". Cute!
Indecision
So, I showed-up ready for my friend date with Erik the Swede. I was very excited.
Me: Are you ready to be my friend??!?!?!?!!!?!!?!?!
Erik the Swede: ...
Me: Yes?
EtS: ...
Me: Maybe...?
EtS: ...
Me: ...{panic sets in} Do you not want to hang out today or something?
Ets: [confused}
Me: {trying again} Are you ready to go do something?
EtS: Yes.
Me: Are you hungry?
EtS: **shrug** Sure.
Me: Well, I was thinking we can go have Indian or to a soup/sandwich place. Do either of those sound good?
EtS: Yes.
Me: Which one?
EtS: It doesn't matter. What do you want?
To be fair, the entire day was not like that. I believe that was the initial "there is no MMMMono here to serve as a buffer"--and if I say so myself, I think I handled it nicely.
In all reality, I was impressed by how verbose Erik is! Seriously. We conversated. A lot. I think MMMMono just doesn't want to share him with the rest of us.
Me: Are you ready to be my friend??!?!?!?!!!?!!?!?!
Erik the Swede: ...
Me: Yes?
EtS: ...
Me: Maybe...?
EtS: ...
Me: ...{panic sets in} Do you not want to hang out today or something?
Ets: [confused}
Me: {trying again} Are you ready to go do something?
EtS: Yes.
Me: Are you hungry?
EtS: **shrug** Sure.
Me: Well, I was thinking we can go have Indian or to a soup/sandwich place. Do either of those sound good?
EtS: Yes.
Me: Which one?
EtS: It doesn't matter. What do you want?
To be fair, the entire day was not like that. I believe that was the initial "there is no MMMMono here to serve as a buffer"--and if I say so myself, I think I handled it nicely.
In all reality, I was impressed by how verbose Erik is! Seriously. We conversated. A lot. I think MMMMono just doesn't want to share him with the rest of us.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
I am going to shock you
but chances are, it will never effect you in the slightest...except MMMono....and I want to tell her in person. In fact, I would like to tell all of you in person.
No, not pregnant. Also, if I had a job, you would have heard me screaming from the roof top.
Boy knows...he's being supportive. Good times.
No, not pregnant. Also, if I had a job, you would have heard me screaming from the roof top.
Boy knows...he's being supportive. Good times.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!!!
New year, not a new decade. Stop recapping the decade that is not yet over. Thanks.
Have you guys seen this? I call shenanigans.
Have you guys seen this? I call shenanigans.
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