Nonchalance

I am attempting it. I am attempting to be okay with this situation, but I am simply not happy with the way my life is turning out. It is making me upset--reclusive, even. It is very difficult to get out of bed unless it is absolutely necessary. Even then, it takes FOREVER. I feign nonchalance, a lack of caring or strong emotion in the face of it, but how could I be nonchalant?

I went to see Rent--local theatre was putting it on and my friend a super hot, tragically gay friend--we'll call him Bari-- stared as Mark! That had the opposite effect as originally intended. I LOVE Rent, you guys. LOVE IT! Like, I was going to move to NYC and live in alphabet city and dance in the moonlight. Just depressed me a bit. The youth and wonder of my life is gone.

I have this stuck in my head, because BOY and I communicate in song sometimes and this is what he told me to do.