Man. Up.

By far the best thing about my relationship with $port is that I can say anything to him and he can say anything to me and we are cool. For instance:

$port: I broke my leg.
Aussie: Walk it off.

Aussie: $port, don't do that again. It makes you look like a proverbial chicken. You will never get laid.

$port: It's not that you're fat, you're just not attractive.

Aussie: It looks like something crawled on your head and died. Get a haircut.

$port: If you were on welfare, I feel like you would spend it wisely--on Patron.

Aussie: Seriously, Jew nose.

Okay, maybe that last one was too far and made him legitimately upset. Whoops. Walk it off.

In addition, our conversations are riddled with supportive phraseology
including but not limited to:

*man-up
*Go big or go home
*A lame blind man could xyz faster/better/with far more awesome
*I hope you die cold and alone
*Grow a pair
*what doesn't kill you was not properly executed. I'll try again.

So, when I told him that he needs to follow this hygiene regimen in order to man it up, I am happy to know that he understands me.