Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Non productive and non work related things that I have been paid entirely too much to do

Again, no jokes. All while on desk.

1. G-chat pounce on anyone and everyone who signs-on
2. Facebook more in a single shift than I have in the past 6 months combined
3. Watch the Colbert Report
4. Book a flight to Salt Lake City
5. Priceline negotiate for hotels
6. Balance my check book
7. Troll the interwebs for travel deals
8. Make a priority list of places to travel over the next 5 years
9. Find awesome recipes to try
10. Made lesson plans for the Fall Library Literacy Class
11. Read 6 different articles on the art of packing light and living for over 2 weeks on what can be held in a carry-on.
12. Blog
13. Do Rosetta Stone lessons
14. www.google.com/pacman
15. Texting
16. Finding and printing sight-reading and ear training resources

Friday, June 10, 2011

Things that I get paid $25 an hour to do

No joke, this is a list of **everything** work related that I have done at MCC in the past month of working 14 hours a week.

1. Refilled the printer's paper tray
2. Shut down computers
3. Taught a student the difference between clicking and dragging
4. Answered the phone to tell someone the hours
5. Told someone in person the hours
6. Indicated to someone where the address bar is on Internet Explorer
7. Helped someone figure out how to print from Blackboard
8. Indicated to a student the clearly labelled printer name on the color printer
9. Told someone how much color print-outs cost
10. Told multiple people how much black and white print outs cost
11. Helped someone attach a document to their email
12. Read the instructions printed on the lid of the scanner to a student who could not figure out how to use the scanner. No further explanations--just read aloud.
13. Helped a student search the OPAC for materials on reserve
14. Explained to someone how the alphabet works in relation to the Library of Congress system
15. Checked the lost and found for a black flashdrive
16. Helped a student find materials regarding the Michigan Calvary's involvement in the Battle of Gettysburg.


I am not complaining--merely pointing out that there might be something wrong with the world. I did all of this at ye old public library and they only paid me $12 an hour.

Oh, and did I mention that MCC pays me mileage for my commute because I am technically Faculty. I would say that this means that I win at life, except I am afraid of losing all of my brain power. I used to have such a pretty brain...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

I am not sure if I am being decisive or not being fair...

A guy is so into me that even I can tell. He is a student worker at MCC but he is older than I am.

I think that part of my downfall is that I am just so nice. It all started when he asked if I would give him a ride home because his car was broken. I have never been good at saying no to giving someone a ride--I would never want to be stranded--and he was on my way home anyway. Plus, despite the fact that I did not know him at all at this point, I knew that we worked at the same library--totally not a rapist. It was a solid 15 minute drive, so we chatted a bit and, let's face it, I am fabulous. I walked (really drove) away from this thinking "Yay! I have a new friend at new work already!" A couple of days later, he friend requested me on Facebook--I should have treated him like any other student and put him on limited...Stupid hindsight!

Then the following week he said "My car is still broken--would you mind giving me a ride?" No problem--it is on the way. So I drive him home--we chatted. As I turned off the exit, he was all "Man, you're just so made of awesome--I feel like I should buy you a drink or something. Like, as a thank you for giving me a ride. Also, I feel like you would be really cool to talk to over a drink." My response: "Normally I would be up for that, but I--" And then he cuts me off "Yeah, it is a really long drive back to Grand Rapids." And I **should** have left it at that. In hindsight, I should not have felt the need to defend my alcoholic prowess by adding "It's not the drive--it's that I have work at 7:30 tomorrow morning." Rookie mistake.

Following week...
MCCboy: Last time, I swear, my next pay check is going toward my car.
Aussie: No biggie..."Do unto others..."
And then, using his knowledge of my undergraduate major, he gets me into a discussion about Catholicism and Social Justice--about both of which I am very passionate. After a discussion that ends-up with him sitting in the car in the driveway still talking...
MCCboy: What are we doing still sitting in the car? Why don't you come in and I'll make you a cup of tea.
Aussie: I have kiddos early tomorrow.
MCCboy: Oh, right. {taking off seatbelt} When do they get out?
Aussie: Exams are next week
MCCboy: Okay--we can do something the following week, then. {Has exited vehicle and is doing the bend into the door to talk thing} Oh, and by the way--I was kind of stalking you on facebook. It's a good thing that you have all of the Jane Austen books in there, otherwise I would think that you weren't well read. See ya! {closes door}
Aussie: There are books on my Facebook? Where are there books on my facebook?

In summary--that is where we are with the whole this thing. It seems apparent to me that he wants to get up my skirt. This might be marginally acceptable if he met my standards, but he does not meet a single one of my standards. I have no qualms with my standards; I maintain that I, along with everyone else, has the right to hold high standards. My issue is that I am still really, really bad at rejecting guys without making them feel stupid or hurt or whatever usually happens. I don't know because they tend to cease all forms of communication with me after such an event. Hence the cry for help.

To arms, ladies, to arms! I have always kept an "honesty is the best policy" policy in these situations--is that where I am going wrong? Should I not be up-front but rather just refrain from dropping hints until he gets it? Should I pretend that I have a boyfriend?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Where you left it

You guys, the best thing EVER happened the other day. I ran into $port at the public library--the one that we both grew-up using since neither of us are public library employees anymore. Despite having gone to undergrad and grade school with $port in addition to working at the same library for like...2 years?...I think it was two. Despite all of that, I probably haven't *spoken* to him in like...a year. Tragic. This is apparently what happens when your friends move out of state, no matter what semblance of promises you make that it happens to other people, but your friendship is too strong for words and you are going to make it. False. Being adult friends is hard!

ANYway, I run into $port and I was kind of trepidatious at first. Of course, I wanted to punch him just like in the old days, but maybe he outgrew that? Maybe he won't recognise me? I went for it, and his back was facing me and I wasn't quite sure but I committed to the shoulder tap. And you know what? HE WAS HAPPY TO SEE ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best! Day! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then we wandered around the library getting upset that they had moved things because change is evil. And we made jokes and mocked each other and chatted about MMMono and Toi and it was exactly what I think every random encounter with an old friend should be like--you should be able to pick-up where you left off because you both dropped the ball and stopped calling and texting and all of that. Both parties ceased maintaining the relationship at the same level as it was when you lived in the same building or worked together or whatever it was. Both people, so no one is allowed to be mad. But then I got into trouble...

$port: Why are you never on G-Chat anymore?
Aussie: Because I changed my email address...
$port: AND YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME WITH YOU?!?!?!?!
Aussie: I'll email you my new email address, and my blog for good measure! You can have Aussie overload.
$port: Damn straight. You better.

We even worked in some "man-ups" and some not-so-gentle shoving. If only I had had a rubber band to fling at him. Of course, he made the transgression that EVERYone who hasn't seen me in a while does: "Your hair is sooooooooo looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg" while tousselling my hair. At least it was positive, but really, my hair has been this length for about a year now.

And then I followed up with a text and I emailed him my blog's address from the aforementioned new email. I'm so productive!!!

This was far preferable to the whole see them and pretend you didn't but you know that they saw you too, so you know that they know that you know that they are there and you're both just being rude and you should just go say "hello" at least and make some excuse if you really don't want to talk to them, but damn, why not just go and chat for a hot second and refrain from being a douche.

So, anyway, if I run into any of you around town, no pretending that you don't know that it is me.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Toulouse

In my vegan adventures, I have had many cooking triumphs and many failures--the failures are primarily in baking. I also have mixed bags where I go "Oh my GOD! This is delicious" and then some animal eater tries one and says "False. Worst. Cookie. Ever." Typically the nay-sayer is my mother. Thanks, Mom.

ANYway, I also have this group of friends that send me vegan recipes that the think look good. I was recently complaining to a friend that if eggs are essential to a recipe, that is when I have the most trouble successfully veganizing it--then I typically consult an expert. I have tried the Egg Replacer powder, which is fine or whatever, but I get the exact same results in 99% of baked goods if I simply cut out the eggs and don't substitute anything, even the egg replacer. Some find my lack of faith disturbing.

My main missing dessert is, of course, Creme Brulee, which you simply cannot do by subbing the eggs for, say, applesauce. Gross gross gross gross gross. As I was lamenting the major void in my life caused by the loss of Creme Brulle and explaining that I had tried a few tofu-related recipes that pale in comparison, my friend's response was the typical "Well, you could always just dismount that moral high horse you're on and eat real food like the rest of us." Again, Thanks.

The next week, with much shock, I got an email from this angry-on-the-outside friend with a link to a recipe for vegan cookies that uses egg replacer. Okay, so maybe my friend didn't understand or follow our whole discussion, because I am not having cookie issues and I've come to the rather astute conclusion that egg replacer is a load of crap, but it was a nice thought. So I decided to make these cookies.

As with every cookie recipe that I ever make, I didn't really read it through first like you're supposed to. I just kind of started throwing the ingredients together in the direction's order.

About halfway through the recipe, I thought that it felt really familiar. 3/4 C sugar and 3/4 C brown sugar...hmmm. I just kept on trucking! And then, I had a moment of clarity. What a cheating little recipe-poster.

Allow Pheobe and Monica to explain. Sorry, I can't find one with embedding enabled.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Yet another post that no one will read

I believe that my blog is now in a void, captured in a realm of circular reasoning gone horribly, horribly wrong. You see, I do not post because no one comments yet no one comments because I never post.

So, here is my post about far away community college job. I got here at 4pm this afternoon. When I appeared at the desk to relieve the person on desk, she said "Oh, I have a few more things to do, so I'll stay out here until 5, I think. I need to finish preparing my notes for this class that is coming in tomorrow. Is that okay?" What am I supposed to say? Lady, I don't have an office or anything to do off desk. Let me tell you how this works: it is an hour before night classes start, so you are going to be slammed with needy old people who don't understand computers and entitled students my age who just want you to do it for them. What you want to stay on desk "doing" is not going to get done. But, whatever--I am easy going and if that's what she wants, that's what she gets.

So I loitered off into the twisty back staff area. I wandered into the supply room and opened some drawers and then I sat in a comfortable chair and texted some people. Sorry if you didn't make the cut, but since no one reads my blog, you won't know that you missed out anyway. Then I sauntered back up to the desk.

Predictably, crazy old librarian reported, "I just didn't get as much done as I would have liked, so I'm going to go finish this up in my office."

I was paid for an entire hour to text, hang out on comfortable furniture and snoop through other people's shit. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the opportunity and the extra dollars and all of that--but I have this "worst-case-scenario" in my head:

Future Perspective Employer of Aussie: So, tell me about a typical day an MCC.
Aussie: ...umm...well, they had some really nice pens.

UPDATE: When relating this tale to my father, he had this knowing look on his face. Apparently, this is behavior quite akin to most of his colleagues. On my concern about a future interview going awry, he commented "Oh, I have faith in your ability to embellish."

Saturday, May 21, 2011

All the best-laid plans...

Summer 2011 is shaping-up to be not at all what I expected.

First, I was going to go to Ireland and enjoy a drunkenly good time with my cousin. No dice.

Then I was going to Ukraine to teach English as a Second Language. Clearly this would also include a Romania excursion. Not so much anymore.

Now I am working at an hour away community college as a librarian. The pay is fantastic and they pay mileage for my commute, so it is a solid step-up in the world. Just...not what I was expecting to be doing with my summer.

Now I am settling for mini road trips throughout the country, originally one every weekend except the weekend that Harry Potter comes out. Now, I am talking myself out of that for two reasons. Reason one: as much as I enjoy travelling solo, I enjoy somewhat greater travelling with other. Reason two: I need to save-up for an OMG awesome trip that I hope to spend travelling for the entirety of my next summer vacation. EPIC. It's all of $11,000 with air and food and a manageable amount of souvenirs, but it is 47 days in Europe, including a week in Egypt.

So anyway, if anyone wants to go anywhere, I am game.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Fail

I fail at:

1. posting to my blog;
2. staying warm in this building;
3. remembering what I need for a recipe from the store without writing it down;
4. identifying all of the landmarks in this picture:



Thankfully I got Eiffel Tower, Big Ben and Parliament, the Colloseum, the Kermlin, the Parthenon, and La Sagrada Familia...but the whole bottom row is not my friend. Is that Venice? When I Google "Giant sundial" or "see through sundial" or "awesome sundial" that doesn't come-up, so I am guessing that it is not a sundial.

Hmmm.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Jousting at Dawn

I know that I need to blog about my Spring Break (woo-woo!) but I can't find the thing that I have to plug into my computer to upload the pics form my camera. It's not a cord...it's a USB thing. I love it, but it is the size of a jump drive, so I obviously used it and didn't put it back and it is under my bed or behind a shelf or "somewhere where I will remember where it is". Rookie mistake.

In "I has dollars to spend from Uncle Sam" related news, I am thinking about a Kindle (down, Monica, down!) because it would really reduce my luggage while traveling. Like, a lot. I read 4 books on my road trip, not counting audio books. It was 5 days, a large portion of which was spent in my car. After doing a bit of research, I have decided that I should get the Kindle over the overpriced NookColor and the lesser priced and coincidentally inferior Kobo. My quandary? Kindle or a tablet?

The thing is, the Kindle is less expensive and has free Wi-Fi and 3G so I could do email, Google Maps and all of that, but it is not a tablet. Kindle also has a 3 week battery life between recharges. I understand that Kindles do not accept eLibrary content, but for my uses I can live with that.

The iPad3 is rumored to come in the fall, but would I really want an eReader and a tablet? I am thinking about a tablet on a different platform, but would it really be that much better than just getting a Kindle?

On to more important things:

Friday, April 1, 2011

How long is a week, again?

When one of my favorite students came into the library the today to chat (he is a student aide to BigRed, so he wasn't cutting class or anything) the conversation turned to spring break. Quite natural, as a creeping mass exodus has occurred throughout the school.

Side Bar: I do not remember this being such a big thing when I was in high school. Do people really leave for spring break on Tuesday the week before? I get Thursday for better air and I get Friday for beating weekend traffic, but Tuesday? Get over yourself. Also, WTF, Parents? How much are you paying for your child's education? Let me tell you: a lot. Ridiculous amounts, in fact. I would never in the extent of my life have been allowed to miss school for anything short of infectious disease, odd-colored puke, or death. Oh, and that one time in first grade when I broke my leg--but that was doctor-mandated.

So, here I am, chatting with the only student left in the entire school, despite the fact that it is 1pm on a regular school day, and he asks what I'm doing for spring break. Adorably, he adds "Do you get spring break? I mean, I know that the teachers do, but do you still have to come-in and do things with books?" Thank God, no!

When sharing my thrown-together spring break plans, I felt the distinct need to preface.

Aussie: I have a 5-year plan to visit every state in the union.
CleverStudent: [chuckles] "In the union." I like that.
Aussie: No Puerto Rico for me. And none of those Canada shenanigans.
CS: Pshh, Canada. So, where are you going?
Aussie: All of the boring states in the middle that are in driving distance: Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, and Iowa.
CS: Ah. Wait. Five years? That's 10 states a year. Where are you going over the summer?
Aussie: Well, I already have 11 down, so 39 to go over 5 years; not quite as bad.
CS: When are you going to Hawaii? Cause I want in on that.
Aussie: I feel like Hawaii is best enjoyed with company, so I'll wait until a friend is free and I am free and then it'll just happen.
CS: Good plan.

In summary, let me know when you want to go to Hawaii. I am baller at combing the interwebs for amazing deals, and I have copious amounts of built-in vacation. And Hawaii is the same general temperature all year, so it really doesn't matter what time of year we go. Just. Saying.