Toulouse

In my vegan adventures, I have had many cooking triumphs and many failures--the failures are primarily in baking. I also have mixed bags where I go "Oh my GOD! This is delicious" and then some animal eater tries one and says "False. Worst. Cookie. Ever." Typically the nay-sayer is my mother. Thanks, Mom.

ANYway, I also have this group of friends that send me vegan recipes that the think look good. I was recently complaining to a friend that if eggs are essential to a recipe, that is when I have the most trouble successfully veganizing it--then I typically consult an expert. I have tried the Egg Replacer powder, which is fine or whatever, but I get the exact same results in 99% of baked goods if I simply cut out the eggs and don't substitute anything, even the egg replacer. Some find my lack of faith disturbing.

My main missing dessert is, of course, Creme Brulee, which you simply cannot do by subbing the eggs for, say, applesauce. Gross gross gross gross gross. As I was lamenting the major void in my life caused by the loss of Creme Brulle and explaining that I had tried a few tofu-related recipes that pale in comparison, my friend's response was the typical "Well, you could always just dismount that moral high horse you're on and eat real food like the rest of us." Again, Thanks.

The next week, with much shock, I got an email from this angry-on-the-outside friend with a link to a recipe for vegan cookies that uses egg replacer. Okay, so maybe my friend didn't understand or follow our whole discussion, because I am not having cookie issues and I've come to the rather astute conclusion that egg replacer is a load of crap, but it was a nice thought. So I decided to make these cookies.

As with every cookie recipe that I ever make, I didn't really read it through first like you're supposed to. I just kind of started throwing the ingredients together in the direction's order.

About halfway through the recipe, I thought that it felt really familiar. 3/4 C sugar and 3/4 C brown sugar...hmmm. I just kept on trucking! And then, I had a moment of clarity. What a cheating little recipe-poster.

Allow Pheobe and Monica to explain. Sorry, I can't find one with embedding enabled.

Yet another post that no one will read

I believe that my blog is now in a void, captured in a realm of circular reasoning gone horribly, horribly wrong. You see, I do not post because no one comments yet no one comments because I never post.

So, here is my post about far away community college job. I got here at 4pm this afternoon. When I appeared at the desk to relieve the person on desk, she said "Oh, I have a few more things to do, so I'll stay out here until 5, I think. I need to finish preparing my notes for this class that is coming in tomorrow. Is that okay?" What am I supposed to say? Lady, I don't have an office or anything to do off desk. Let me tell you how this works: it is an hour before night classes start, so you are going to be slammed with needy old people who don't understand computers and entitled students my age who just want you to do it for them. What you want to stay on desk "doing" is not going to get done. But, whatever--I am easy going and if that's what she wants, that's what she gets.

So I loitered off into the twisty back staff area. I wandered into the supply room and opened some drawers and then I sat in a comfortable chair and texted some people. Sorry if you didn't make the cut, but since no one reads my blog, you won't know that you missed out anyway. Then I sauntered back up to the desk.

Predictably, crazy old librarian reported, "I just didn't get as much done as I would have liked, so I'm going to go finish this up in my office."

I was paid for an entire hour to text, hang out on comfortable furniture and snoop through other people's shit. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the opportunity and the extra dollars and all of that--but I have this "worst-case-scenario" in my head:

Future Perspective Employer of Aussie: So, tell me about a typical day an MCC.
Aussie: ...umm...well, they had some really nice pens.

UPDATE: When relating this tale to my father, he had this knowing look on his face. Apparently, this is behavior quite akin to most of his colleagues. On my concern about a future interview going awry, he commented "Oh, I have faith in your ability to embellish."

All the best-laid plans...

Summer 2011 is shaping-up to be not at all what I expected.

First, I was going to go to Ireland and enjoy a drunkenly good time with my cousin. No dice.

Then I was going to Ukraine to teach English as a Second Language. Clearly this would also include a Romania excursion. Not so much anymore.

Now I am working at an hour away community college as a librarian. The pay is fantastic and they pay mileage for my commute, so it is a solid step-up in the world. Just...not what I was expecting to be doing with my summer.

Now I am settling for mini road trips throughout the country, originally one every weekend except the weekend that Harry Potter comes out. Now, I am talking myself out of that for two reasons. Reason one: as much as I enjoy travelling solo, I enjoy somewhat greater travelling with other. Reason two: I need to save-up for an OMG awesome trip that I hope to spend travelling for the entirety of my next summer vacation. EPIC. It's all of $11,000 with air and food and a manageable amount of souvenirs, but it is 47 days in Europe, including a week in Egypt.

So anyway, if anyone wants to go anywhere, I am game.

Fail

I fail at:

1. posting to my blog;
2. staying warm in this building;
3. remembering what I need for a recipe from the store without writing it down;
4. identifying all of the landmarks in this picture:



Thankfully I got Eiffel Tower, Big Ben and Parliament, the Colloseum, the Kermlin, the Parthenon, and La Sagrada Familia...but the whole bottom row is not my friend. Is that Venice? When I Google "Giant sundial" or "see through sundial" or "awesome sundial" that doesn't come-up, so I am guessing that it is not a sundial.

Hmmm.

Jousting at Dawn

I know that I need to blog about my Spring Break (woo-woo!) but I can't find the thing that I have to plug into my computer to upload the pics form my camera. It's not a cord...it's a USB thing. I love it, but it is the size of a jump drive, so I obviously used it and didn't put it back and it is under my bed or behind a shelf or "somewhere where I will remember where it is". Rookie mistake.

In "I has dollars to spend from Uncle Sam" related news, I am thinking about a Kindle (down, Monica, down!) because it would really reduce my luggage while traveling. Like, a lot. I read 4 books on my road trip, not counting audio books. It was 5 days, a large portion of which was spent in my car. After doing a bit of research, I have decided that I should get the Kindle over the overpriced NookColor and the lesser priced and coincidentally inferior Kobo. My quandary? Kindle or a tablet?

The thing is, the Kindle is less expensive and has free Wi-Fi and 3G so I could do email, Google Maps and all of that, but it is not a tablet. Kindle also has a 3 week battery life between recharges. I understand that Kindles do not accept eLibrary content, but for my uses I can live with that.

The iPad3 is rumored to come in the fall, but would I really want an eReader and a tablet? I am thinking about a tablet on a different platform, but would it really be that much better than just getting a Kindle?

On to more important things:

How long is a week, again?

When one of my favorite students came into the library the today to chat (he is a student aide to BigRed, so he wasn't cutting class or anything) the conversation turned to spring break. Quite natural, as a creeping mass exodus has occurred throughout the school.

Side Bar: I do not remember this being such a big thing when I was in high school. Do people really leave for spring break on Tuesday the week before? I get Thursday for better air and I get Friday for beating weekend traffic, but Tuesday? Get over yourself. Also, WTF, Parents? How much are you paying for your child's education? Let me tell you: a lot. Ridiculous amounts, in fact. I would never in the extent of my life have been allowed to miss school for anything short of infectious disease, odd-colored puke, or death. Oh, and that one time in first grade when I broke my leg--but that was doctor-mandated.

So, here I am, chatting with the only student left in the entire school, despite the fact that it is 1pm on a regular school day, and he asks what I'm doing for spring break. Adorably, he adds "Do you get spring break? I mean, I know that the teachers do, but do you still have to come-in and do things with books?" Thank God, no!

When sharing my thrown-together spring break plans, I felt the distinct need to preface.

Aussie: I have a 5-year plan to visit every state in the union.
CleverStudent: [chuckles] "In the union." I like that.
Aussie: No Puerto Rico for me. And none of those Canada shenanigans.
CS: Pshh, Canada. So, where are you going?
Aussie: All of the boring states in the middle that are in driving distance: Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, and Iowa.
CS: Ah. Wait. Five years? That's 10 states a year. Where are you going over the summer?
Aussie: Well, I already have 11 down, so 39 to go over 5 years; not quite as bad.
CS: When are you going to Hawaii? Cause I want in on that.
Aussie: I feel like Hawaii is best enjoyed with company, so I'll wait until a friend is free and I am free and then it'll just happen.
CS: Good plan.

In summary, let me know when you want to go to Hawaii. I am baller at combing the interwebs for amazing deals, and I have copious amounts of built-in vacation. And Hawaii is the same general temperature all year, so it really doesn't matter what time of year we go. Just. Saying.

And I was just starting to like nature

I went for a walk yesterday. In flip flops! I must admit, I have always had a fondness for the flop-flop noise that they make! I was so happy after my walk!

I went for a walk the night before with...umm...TheOrganPlayer. I complained rather loudly about how I wanted to see a bunny and then he mocked me for loving small woodland creatures so much. Of course, we can't hate him too much for this, dear friends, because he also makes sure to make me special vegan treats at dinner parties and never lets people pick a restaurant without first consulting me as to whether or not I can eat a reasonable meal there. Hee. Watch out, MMMono, he is going to take your place as my bestie.

In other news, I found this article today and am now afraid of the outdoors. Yes, my love affair with spring has come to a sudden, crashing halt due to science.

Coming soon to a blog near you: Aussie Adventures.

Thinking too hard

I watched the Quiz Bowl team compete with another school this afternoon. Wow. I would have cleaned-up all by myself! We won, of course, because Catholic education is so superior. And one of the kids on the team is a verifiable genius. He skipped grades and everything. He checks out hardcore science books for leisure reading.

Part of the problem that the remainder of the team faced, I noticed, was an inability to ascertain what the question was asking. They couldn't pull-out keywords. Even the smartest kids are not information literate enough to kick major ass at trivia.

I found this interesting graphic that might explain, to some extent, what the problem is. Also, the brain is displayed in a life-like pink color!

There is a work party this evening, so I shall likely regale you all with a lovely tail about that fabulous brand of entertainment in the days to come.

Top o' the mornin' to you!

Today is a great day. It is sunny...and excellent bar-hopping weather. Which is excellent for me, because it is the feast of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. Apparently, in Ireland on St. Patrick's Day, they all go to church. Here in America, we feast on beer. Green beer, at that. Green is my favorite color!

Today is also an AWESOME day because yesterday I got a fabulous prize in the mail: a form to fill-out for Toi! You guys!!!!!!! I flove forms!!!!!!!! No worries, Toi; I shall refrain from using green ink.

Speaking of Ireland, I am going to Ireland this summer. On a bus tour. That way, my cousin and I can just be drunk the whole time and then stumble onto the bus in the morning still drunk or hung-over and then sleep and wake-up to take a picture of the Blarney Stone and then sleep some more. Preferably not on the Cliffs of Moher.

In other news, I am going to look at a house on Saturday. Look at it with a Realtor because I am considering a purchase. I...I don't know what has come over me.

Ash Wednesday

Thank to Dr. Marko--or "The Bobber" if you prefer--I can no longer take Ash Wednesday liturgy seriously. He railed-on one day in class about how Theologically preposterous the whole concept of Ash Wednesday is.

His points:
1. Starting on Wednesday means that Lent is not 40 days long. No mater how you count it. Lent ends with Triduum, so Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday do not count in the 40 days of the Lenten season. If you skip Sundays you come-up short.You certainly can't skip every-other Sunday. It's all just a cover-up of some pagan-ism.
2. Sundays are not "mini-Easters" that you can cheat on during Lent. It is the blank Sunday of Lent. They count as Lent. And I quote: "The Priest is in that dorky purple. It's Lent."
3. "Who the hell keeps their Palm for a whole year and then remembers to bring it back to be burned and made into nice, clean ashes. What a load of crock. The Church buys it from a distributor--they throw away your dead, brown palm."
4. That song that we sing every Ash Wednesday about rising again from ashes and "an offering of ashes/an offering to you" that we grew up on and just love? Heresy. It is gnostic heresy.

So, here I am at the school mass, trying not to giggle as the Bishop goes to town marking up the children with not so much a cross of ashes, but an entire forehead full of ashes. And then I wiped-off my ashes after school to go to Mass again with my RCIA candidate. Does that mean that I have to give-up two things for Lent this year?

**UPDATE: OMG! I flove Stephen Colbert! He wore his ashes on the Colbert Report!!!!**