Jousting at Dawn

I know that I need to blog about my Spring Break (woo-woo!) but I can't find the thing that I have to plug into my computer to upload the pics form my camera. It's not a cord...it's a USB thing. I love it, but it is the size of a jump drive, so I obviously used it and didn't put it back and it is under my bed or behind a shelf or "somewhere where I will remember where it is". Rookie mistake.

In "I has dollars to spend from Uncle Sam" related news, I am thinking about a Kindle (down, Monica, down!) because it would really reduce my luggage while traveling. Like, a lot. I read 4 books on my road trip, not counting audio books. It was 5 days, a large portion of which was spent in my car. After doing a bit of research, I have decided that I should get the Kindle over the overpriced NookColor and the lesser priced and coincidentally inferior Kobo. My quandary? Kindle or a tablet?

The thing is, the Kindle is less expensive and has free Wi-Fi and 3G so I could do email, Google Maps and all of that, but it is not a tablet. Kindle also has a 3 week battery life between recharges. I understand that Kindles do not accept eLibrary content, but for my uses I can live with that.

The iPad3 is rumored to come in the fall, but would I really want an eReader and a tablet? I am thinking about a tablet on a different platform, but would it really be that much better than just getting a Kindle?

On to more important things:

How long is a week, again?

When one of my favorite students came into the library the today to chat (he is a student aide to BigRed, so he wasn't cutting class or anything) the conversation turned to spring break. Quite natural, as a creeping mass exodus has occurred throughout the school.

Side Bar: I do not remember this being such a big thing when I was in high school. Do people really leave for spring break on Tuesday the week before? I get Thursday for better air and I get Friday for beating weekend traffic, but Tuesday? Get over yourself. Also, WTF, Parents? How much are you paying for your child's education? Let me tell you: a lot. Ridiculous amounts, in fact. I would never in the extent of my life have been allowed to miss school for anything short of infectious disease, odd-colored puke, or death. Oh, and that one time in first grade when I broke my leg--but that was doctor-mandated.

So, here I am, chatting with the only student left in the entire school, despite the fact that it is 1pm on a regular school day, and he asks what I'm doing for spring break. Adorably, he adds "Do you get spring break? I mean, I know that the teachers do, but do you still have to come-in and do things with books?" Thank God, no!

When sharing my thrown-together spring break plans, I felt the distinct need to preface.

Aussie: I have a 5-year plan to visit every state in the union.
CleverStudent: [chuckles] "In the union." I like that.
Aussie: No Puerto Rico for me. And none of those Canada shenanigans.
CS: Pshh, Canada. So, where are you going?
Aussie: All of the boring states in the middle that are in driving distance: Missouri, Kansas, Nebraska, and Iowa.
CS: Ah. Wait. Five years? That's 10 states a year. Where are you going over the summer?
Aussie: Well, I already have 11 down, so 39 to go over 5 years; not quite as bad.
CS: When are you going to Hawaii? Cause I want in on that.
Aussie: I feel like Hawaii is best enjoyed with company, so I'll wait until a friend is free and I am free and then it'll just happen.
CS: Good plan.

In summary, let me know when you want to go to Hawaii. I am baller at combing the interwebs for amazing deals, and I have copious amounts of built-in vacation. And Hawaii is the same general temperature all year, so it really doesn't matter what time of year we go. Just. Saying.

And I was just starting to like nature

I went for a walk yesterday. In flip flops! I must admit, I have always had a fondness for the flop-flop noise that they make! I was so happy after my walk!

I went for a walk the night before with...umm...TheOrganPlayer. I complained rather loudly about how I wanted to see a bunny and then he mocked me for loving small woodland creatures so much. Of course, we can't hate him too much for this, dear friends, because he also makes sure to make me special vegan treats at dinner parties and never lets people pick a restaurant without first consulting me as to whether or not I can eat a reasonable meal there. Hee. Watch out, MMMono, he is going to take your place as my bestie.

In other news, I found this article today and am now afraid of the outdoors. Yes, my love affair with spring has come to a sudden, crashing halt due to science.

Coming soon to a blog near you: Aussie Adventures.

Thinking too hard

I watched the Quiz Bowl team compete with another school this afternoon. Wow. I would have cleaned-up all by myself! We won, of course, because Catholic education is so superior. And one of the kids on the team is a verifiable genius. He skipped grades and everything. He checks out hardcore science books for leisure reading.

Part of the problem that the remainder of the team faced, I noticed, was an inability to ascertain what the question was asking. They couldn't pull-out keywords. Even the smartest kids are not information literate enough to kick major ass at trivia.

I found this interesting graphic that might explain, to some extent, what the problem is. Also, the brain is displayed in a life-like pink color!

There is a work party this evening, so I shall likely regale you all with a lovely tail about that fabulous brand of entertainment in the days to come.

Top o' the mornin' to you!

Today is a great day. It is sunny...and excellent bar-hopping weather. Which is excellent for me, because it is the feast of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. Apparently, in Ireland on St. Patrick's Day, they all go to church. Here in America, we feast on beer. Green beer, at that. Green is my favorite color!

Today is also an AWESOME day because yesterday I got a fabulous prize in the mail: a form to fill-out for Toi! You guys!!!!!!! I flove forms!!!!!!!! No worries, Toi; I shall refrain from using green ink.

Speaking of Ireland, I am going to Ireland this summer. On a bus tour. That way, my cousin and I can just be drunk the whole time and then stumble onto the bus in the morning still drunk or hung-over and then sleep and wake-up to take a picture of the Blarney Stone and then sleep some more. Preferably not on the Cliffs of Moher.

In other news, I am going to look at a house on Saturday. Look at it with a Realtor because I am considering a purchase. I...I don't know what has come over me.

Ash Wednesday

Thank to Dr. Marko--or "The Bobber" if you prefer--I can no longer take Ash Wednesday liturgy seriously. He railed-on one day in class about how Theologically preposterous the whole concept of Ash Wednesday is.

His points:
1. Starting on Wednesday means that Lent is not 40 days long. No mater how you count it. Lent ends with Triduum, so Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday do not count in the 40 days of the Lenten season. If you skip Sundays you come-up short.You certainly can't skip every-other Sunday. It's all just a cover-up of some pagan-ism.
2. Sundays are not "mini-Easters" that you can cheat on during Lent. It is the blank Sunday of Lent. They count as Lent. And I quote: "The Priest is in that dorky purple. It's Lent."
3. "Who the hell keeps their Palm for a whole year and then remembers to bring it back to be burned and made into nice, clean ashes. What a load of crock. The Church buys it from a distributor--they throw away your dead, brown palm."
4. That song that we sing every Ash Wednesday about rising again from ashes and "an offering of ashes/an offering to you" that we grew up on and just love? Heresy. It is gnostic heresy.

So, here I am at the school mass, trying not to giggle as the Bishop goes to town marking up the children with not so much a cross of ashes, but an entire forehead full of ashes. And then I wiped-off my ashes after school to go to Mass again with my RCIA candidate. Does that mean that I have to give-up two things for Lent this year?

**UPDATE: OMG! I flove Stephen Colbert! He wore his ashes on the Colbert Report!!!!**

Skank

Have you seen this?

Words cannot express how appauling I find this. I hear laser removal is coming along. I shared this with MMMono last week...her response centered around having actually read the article. Apparently the librarian in question is quoted saying "I recently finished library school and decided to commemorate the experience with a tattoo that honors my favorite book series (and musical genre*) ever." This is why no one respects my profession. Yes, the skanky tattoo, but also the fact that even people with an MLIS refer to it is "Library School". For the love!

Speaking of skanks, I just bought yet another cocktail dress. In my defense, it was on clearance. It is classy--black skirt and white halter top and I like it. A lot. It's not too short and it's not too much boobs. Now I just need some place to wear a cocktail dress. . .

Basically, I am excited for my summer off and my up-coming trip to DC and my life in general. Worst case scenario, I will spend the entire summer in sun dresses and cocktail dresses--preferably with friends.

ChannelOne News Starts. . .

Part of my job is hitting the "Play" button to start the ChannelOne Broadcast. Very stimulating. I typically just hit play and then walk away, but today I was rooted to the spot. The broadcast greeted me with none other than NPH!

This, of course, got me all NPH-obsessed for the remainder of my day. I mean...he was barely in the last episode of HIMYM and his branch of the plot was stupid. I hate Ted Mosby--such a plot-hog. Just because it is *his* story. Whatever.

So, anyway, now I am planning on going to see Beastly, all because of NPH, in theaters. Rest assured, I was always planning on seeing it, but now I will go and see it in theaters...not on a library-owned DVD.

Thinking of NPH, I turned to the YouTube. I love it! I watched this little piece of joy (which is angry and will not allow embedding).

Now I'm all excited for the Oscars. I was totally *not* excited before, but now I am excited...who is hosting?

Life of a stupid plant

I recently read a book that made me giggle...incessantly. And out loud. Good times. I would be shocked if MMMono has not yet read it, as it is Neil Gaiman. And it is set in England. The book is Good Omens and I found it to be quite fabulous at times, though a bit silly.

A segment that struck me follows. A note for those who have not read the text: Crowley is a demon who has been living on Earth for all of human history tempting people to be bad.


In fact the only thing in the flat that Crowley devoted any personal attention to were the houseplants. They were huge and green and glorious, with shiny, healthy, lustrous leaves.

This was because, once a week, Crowley went around the flat with a green plastic mister, spraying the leaves, and talking to the plants.

He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.

What he did was put the fear of God into them.

More precisely, the fear of Crowley.

In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plant that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, or just didn't look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. 'Say goodbye to your friend,' he'd say to them. 'He just couldn't cut it ...'

Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.

The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.

Friends, I've told you about Spidey-the-spider-plant-that-virtually-refuses-to-live. I coo to it; I love it; I water it with purified mineral water; I tuck it in every night and sing it to sleep. It hates me. It refuses to be green and pretty and survives only by spite so that I cannot, in good conscience, get a new shiny green plant that actually loves me. Obviously, I need to sell my soul so that I can strike fear into its heart so that it will grow and be pretty and verdant.

Oh Google, how I love thee

Let me count the ways...


Earlier this month (on the first, if you care to know) Google rolled-out its latest project. In true Google form, it is collaborative. This project, aptly named GoogleArtProject is a means of bringing world-renowned art to the masses right in the home and classroom.

"What's so special about that?" you might ask. Let me tell you.

Think about what Google has that few others have: the fact that they are Google. It elicits almost universal participation from institutions that have consistently turned others away. Just look at the list of heavy-hitting participants:

Alte Nationalgalerie, Berlin, Germany
The Freer Gallery of Art, Smithsonian Insitution, Washington, D.C., USA
The Frick Collection, New York, NY, USA
Gemäldegalerie, Berlin, Germany
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, NY, USA
The Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), New York, NY, USA
Museo Reina Sofía, Madrid, Spain
Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza, Madrid, Spain
Museum Kampa, Prague, Czech Republic
The National Gallery, London, UK
Palace of Versailles, France
Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
The State Hermitage Museum, St Petersburg, Russia
State Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow, Russia
Tate Britain, London, UK
Uffizi, Florence, Italy
Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

I don't know about you, but I am impressed by this list of heavy-hitters.

In addition to being Google, the GAP (heehee) also brings into play the most current digitalization techniques, making it possible to bring an exceptionally high quality image of the art--which is probably another reason that so many agreed to participate--the Art looks fabulous. In fact, it looks like it does in real life. In fact, you can look into the image with more detail than you could with the naked-eye at the gallery. So what if that's not the point of art--Google lets you do it!

This is achieved in two ways: gigapixels and Google. No, really! And Google. Google's Street view technology, to be precise. You can tour the galleries all by yourself digitally because they have been captured using Google's Street view. You can even frolic in the gardens at Versailles. Best part? The galleries and gardens were empty when the images were captured, so no one is in your way--ever!

Basically, this is ArtSTOR Platinum...but it is free and open for any user. Play with it yourself. This is a good example of the gigapixels--you can zoom-in on the Globe or the music score and read either perfectly. Apparently, this image contains over 7 billion pixels...so be patient with the zooming.

I think they should use street view for the Guggenheim next.

In other news, I slept for 14 hours last night. I am feeling much less plague-infested. I need to be better by tomorrow, so that I can go visit my cousin!