Monday, January 17, 2011

It's funny because you're stupid.

Do you do that thing where you leave emails that you need to answer later or reference again in the inbox? I do! Which is just silly, because I have Gmail. Archiving is magic! As of 3pm on Friday, my inbox had 294 emails in it. I went through this weekend and saved recipies on my laptop and saved pictures and bookmarked links that I wanted on my home computer. Now, I am down to 17 emails in my inbox. 17. Whoops--can't capitalize a number. SEVENTEEN. Epic.

I found this AWESOME error today on a website:

"Intern, many people tend to go sometime wearing the wrong size without noticing the discomfort."

I would like to analyze this quote further. We can surmise that interns, the modern form of socially acceptable slavery, are many. Much like in other forms of historical oppression, the oppressed often begin as a small group which in turn grows in numbers and can now be considered "many people". Of course, interns are unpaid, so it stands to reason that interns are poor. Monetarily speaking--they are a robust, spiritual people filled with hope for the future. It is clear that the lack of understanding that they are in discomfort due to this ill-fitting clothing is two-fold. First, the interns are unaware of properly fitting clothing, or if they were at one time aware, have come to terms with their lot in life, abandoning all hope. Second, interns are virtually incapable of noticing bodily discomfort from clothing, as they are mentally bullied, hazed, and overworked.

The word choice "sometime" has often confused me. "some time" and "sometime" are denotatively the same. Is there a distinction in how they can be used?

It's exams this week...which means 4 half days and next Monday off! Sweet!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

For Realsies

I am stunned by the lack of drive, ingenuity, intellect and general understanding in this school. And this is a *good* school. People that graduate from here go to Ivy League colleges. People that graduate from here also go to Community, but hey. Most of all, I am stunned by the generational gap between myself and these students. While I may have a solid decade on the youngest freshmen, I only have 6 years on the seniors.

Mostly, I am bamboozled by how lazy they are. They are lazy. Also, how do you make it to your senior year of high school and not possess the knowledge necessary for using an index? I am astonished. I am growing further under the impression that these students are not becoming information literate because their teachers assume that they are. The teachers, though information literate, are not technologically savvy, and few educators understand the difference, so the difference is seldom imparted to students. This misinformation on the nature and use of information and information literacy creates a dynamic of assumed competency. And then teachers wonder why student papers are lacking a certain something (though some don’t put their fingers on it, that “something” is good resources). While students are intellectually capable, technologically enabled and generally desirous of becoming information literate, the false assertion that they are at this level of scholarship because of their ready access to technology does not actually make this a reality.

Today, for instance, I had a class come in to use the library to work on a research project. For them, “use the library” is translated into “use the computers to use Google”. They were vocally complaining to their teacher using the now standard line “Everything is on the internet.” No, no it is not. And, just for your information, you cannot access approximately 95% of the internet. At least. We actually do not know how big the interwebs are, so that is a generous estimate. The most conservative estimates find that 0.002% is accessible to the common person. That is the definition of daunting. And these students think that everything that they need will always pop-up on the Top 10 of a Google search.

But, I digress.

They are complaining quite vocally to their teacher because their paper requires 3 book sources. Three! They each have to open at least 3 books out of five total sources for their paper. And they have to cite each resource at least once in their paper. “That,” as one student sagely pointed-out to the teacher, “means we have to use more books than websites.”

Image the stunned silence of the students when I informed them that I had not pulled any books off of the shelves for them like I normally would to make their lives easier because there were too many for me to justify pulling them. Because their papers are on World War II, only the most written about topic in the world. That, and Shakespeare.

I had pulled materials that were not from the 940s, but outside of that, I just pointed down the right aisle and told them to share. They. Freaked. Out. I spent the next 10 minutes explaining how to use the title to help, as well as reading through the table of contents and looking in the index for your topic. Things a 5th grader can handle.

Last library-heavy post for a while. Promise. Fluffy posts devoid of substance to come. . .

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Wit's End

I am at that point in my job where I have too much to do and too little time to do it, so I work really hard in the morning and then I do nothing all afternoon. Of course, this is fine, the afternoons here are fairly short…plus that is when the study hall kids come down.

As an aside, can I just say how much I hate the concept of study hall. Complete bullshit. Just take another class. If you need something easy, take Art or Band or Choir or Weight lifting. Do something productive with your day. I know that there are 7 hours in the day at Catholic school, but deal.

So, here I am, brain-fried, but I still need to do ** something ** with my day. One of my side projects that everyone continually tells me is an “Over the Summer Project” is creating a library website for the two schools. I am having the issue that, coming out of a union job, I am now morally opposed to doing work outside of the work day. Sometimes I don’t do it during the work day. Hee.

Creating a school library website is really not that bad, except that I have sooooooo much else to do, like weed the collection, write detentions, give lectures on information literacy and why Wikipedia is not a reputable resource for academic research, yell at students to tuck-in their shirts, pull books for student use on a paper, trouble-shoot OpenOffice Writer (EVIL!), catalog materials, figure out how best to reconfigure the library so that it is actually a library, and all of this while being continuously interrupted by teachers to unjam the copy machine (glad I got that Masters Degree) and listen to them bitch about the good old days when they had a fulltime librarian.

So, brain-fried, website building… My first step is to write-up the content so that I can figure out how I want to manipulate it into a user-friendly site. The aspect that I am working on right now is a subject guide or a pathfinder. Why reinvent the wheel? I started looking through the Internet Public Library’s website and other reputed, esteemed Pathfinders.

They all suck. Hard core suckage. Worst. Resource. Ever! The IPL pathfinder has so many broken links that I about wanted to cry. They pay people to maintain this! Please hire me. I would gladly troll the internet looking for cool, useful sites and then check that the links worked once a month or so. It simply cannot be that over 50 links stopped working over the weekend, kids. Get your shit together.

To make matters worse, the links that are working are not even what I would call resources. They are products or just plain useless. If I had time and expertise, I would love to write an Aussie-approved internet. I could have my own domain so that people would know that their search was producing quality results. No teacher would ever question a works-cited entry again.

Then again, maybe I just need to revisit this when I am not 15 minutes away from the end of the school day. And it is snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Epic

I informed MMMono as I left work today that my blog entry tonight would be epic. I am **certain** that it would be if I could only recall what it was that I was going to impart on you all.

At least it snowed today.

Chamber Choir started up again tonight, so that's good.

Ooo! And I had dinner with ...do you have a secret blog name? at Marie Catrib's. Delicious as always. I finally tried one of their vegan cookies. Molasses. Bigger than my face. Best. Cookie. EVER!

I am thinking about taking up Yoga.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas

It has been an interesting Christmas. A lot of odd things have happened and people breaking presents rules making me feel bad--either spending too much or getting presents for people when we had agreed to refrain from buying presents...awkward.

I still love Christmas! Midnight mass at the Cathedral was the definition of AWESOME! I love the strings and the brass and the acoustics in there. Phenomenal.

In case you missed it, this is actually a pretty quality version, and the parts are linked within the video so you can move on and see the whole thing. LOVED this special.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Office Party

While I do not really have an office, we still had a party. Let me tell you, it was epic. We played games. And everyone who did not already know found out (much to their horror as we stared down a 25 pound ham) that I am vegan. I hate that conversation enough, but in a group setting...awful. I took my own advise and refrained from consuming vodka water with lemon all night and instead went for Rum and Cider, emphasis on the Rum. When the cider ran out, I switched to coke. Far inferior, I should think.

Toi, this came-up on MSN's top 5 stories the Tuesday after your holiday party, so I am sorry that I could not share it before your experience. Of course, it sounds like you did just fine, and most of this is common sense, though I like the one about your boss's husband and the bit about the too-drunk co-worker. Like they'll want to sit and have a drink of water. Good luck, Chuck.

ANYway, the best thing about the holiday party is that it got me out of Neener's bachelorette party. w00t! I love Neener and despite what my blog may convey, we *are* friends, but I do not feel the need to play "Guess who bought Neener these panties" and I am generally good with skipping the games where you suck on popsicle penises (MMMono is likely asking: how is that really different from a regular popsicle? I do not know, nor do I care to find out). And, friends, these are only the things that I *imagine* they were doing. I am sure it was far worse.

I popped in for one drink. Neener was already completely shit faced, and then I went to a very, very chill party and nearly fell asleep because I was all wound and liquered-up, so what else could I do in the face of watching a movie that I had already seen a bazillion times, no matter how much I love it?

Success!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Size Matters

As I am sure you are all aware, I am the bestest clearance rack shopper EVER! I rock the socks off with my awesome skillz.

So, here I am at a random department store, combing through the clearance rack (which was ginormous for it being to close/far from Christmas) in the Juniors’ department. I refuse to shop in the old lady section, even if I do get to wear a smaller size there and everything is work appropriate. I don’t know how frequently you shop clearance, but you certainly cannot trust the size indicated on the hanger and everything is jammed in super tight and not so attractively displayed, so sometimes you must just go by color and pull things out to look at them if they seem even quasi promising.

So I pull out this dress that’s light purple on top and black on the bottom and it looks about my size, so I read the tag: X SMALL. It looks about right, though, so I am confused. I decide to put it in my pile of “to try on in fitting room” and continue browsing along my merry way. Throughout the clearance rack I pull some larges and extra larges, my normal Junior Department size, and proceed to the fitting room. The L’s and XL’s were too big, so I went back for Mediums, which fit fine. That X SMALL dress? Totally fit. Super cute. Bought it.

WTF, Junior Size chart? I have complained vocally before about being at “XL” because I am an average size, but you actually listened to me? I know that I have not changed sizes, so either the measurements have changed, or each brand has its own sizing. I am relatively certain that it is the later, which is just annoying. I would like to once again vocalize that we should have the same sizing scheme as Men’s clothing. Pants should be by waist and inseam. Dresses should reflect your bust and hip measurements. I am okay with S/M/L for tops, but why can’t we have a common size across brands. I am sick of being a Small and NYC and a Medium at Old Navy and having to **remember** that for every store that I ever shop at, even if I just want a plain colored long-sleeve shirt. This is not to mention pants sizing. My father has suggested that some stores are intentionally low to raise sales: if you fit into a "smaller" size, you are likely to return there. Of course, this is just confusing when I am a 6 or 7 in one store and a 13 in another. It's just awkward to keep sizing up and the sales people think you are delusional for wanting a 7 when you have such broad, child-bearing hips.

Size matters. Not for my self esteem, but for my convenience and enjoyment of the shopping experience. Can we at least post the sizing chart like online stores so that I can just figure it out that way?

Get your shit straight, American clothing producers--I am not the insane one.

Monday, December 13, 2010

World Travelling: local outlook

Oh, God! It's almost been a month. Epic fail. Aussie is apparently not allowed to have a blog any more, since she can't keep this one alive.

I talked to most of you about travels, so I'll save that post for after I have gone through the 1,427 pictures that I took. Nope, didn't make that number up. Actual number of pictures that I took. At one point, my brother said "I think you have enough pictures to prove that you've been here." He later suggested that I use a picture 360 program to get a digital moodel of the Colloseum. I am considering this strongly.

In terrifying news, the person in charge of watering my plants at work failed me miserably. My spider plant is brown and sad. I am taking it home so that it can be nursed back to health. I haven’t even had it long enough to name it! I think it is a “her”, though, as they have babies.

I have also started to plan my spring break (woo hoo!), as travelling always gives me the travel bug. As does reading about travel. And hearing about travel. And being reminded of anything that links back to previous travels. Basically, I like to travel. I am currently on a quest to visit all 50 states. This is going to be epic. I have yet to determine the time line here, but I am thinking that within the next five years is very do-able. I am also considering what fulfills the criteria of visiting that will allow me to check it off of the list. Let’s vote:
A. Having spent the night and visited the major city
B. Visited the major city or attraction, not necessarily spent the night
C. Having eaten a meal in the state
D. Having seen 5 out of 10 of the major attractions of the state
E. Varies by state, based on a composite of geographic area and percentage of Republicans with guns

Depending on what criteria we use, I have anywhere from 8-19 states already done!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

En Francais, s'il vous plait

Less than two weeks before France and Italy! Bah!!!!!

I am so excited!!!!!!! But also, omg. I have so much to do before this trip, what was I thinking with the timing? I have Harry Potter, I have to make 6 pies, which means first preparing the pumpkin, which takes 6 hours in and of itself. I am singing in a wedding on Saturday, followed by an RCIA dinner. Sunday I have to go to a choir concert, then go to Mass twice, once for RCIA and them again to cantor. I work Monday and Tuesday and then I am off to Auntie's house to help with Thanksgiving. I will be back on Friday and am skipping Black Friday so that I can pack for my trip, because I have a choir concert on Saturday AND on Sunday and then Mass twice, again, and am leaving on Monday. Oh, and did I mention that I have absolutely no plans for either trip yet. I will likely bring the travel books on the plane with me and voraciously read them therein, so that I will know where Versailles is. And I need to print metro maps. And figure out how to get from the Airport to the hotel and back to the airport, at the very least.

Taking vacations is stressful.

Friends, I am in need of some assistance that the interwebs is not providing. You see, I speak enough French to get directions, conjugate verbs, and be polite. And *hopefully* get through customs. My brother speaks Spanish, so I think he will be okay in Italy for sure.

I've only been through customs in Australia, where they are crazy mo-fos because it is an island...is it safe to assume that Paris and Rome are a bit more chill on a short visit from peeps with USA passports?

What Italian do we think I need for customs...or will there not be customs between Paris and Rome? What French would Brother need to get through in Paris? Or, if I just teach him to say "Je suis un touriste" and "Parlez-vous anglais?" do we think it'll be okay?

I mean, tons of Brits must come through, right?

Guidance, oh wise amies!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Why?!?!?!

Do you have those friends that are a huge drain on your time because they are needy and mopey and sad? And then you see them around other people and realize that you are not even a **good** friend of theirs? Because they ignore you and act superior to you when these others are around?

Lame. Annoying. There are many words to describe this, but I digress.

Well, one of this special brood has been very...needy...lately. I try to be nice, but if you are not going to tell me what is wrong but just dance around it and say "woe is me"--let's face it, this can only go on so long.

So, when at 1am this morning I get a phone call from said person, I wanted to rip my hair out in frustration. I had to be at school in 6 hours, which meant that I had to get up in 5 which meant I was sleeping! Friends, when working 40-50 hours a week, sleep is very important. Add to this the fact that I love sleep. I love sleeping so much that in College I had a designated "Sleep-in Day" on the calendar.

Luckily, I refrained from answering with "Who dares disturb my slumber," opting instead for "Listen, I hate to be a downer, but I only answered to make it stop ringing, because I want to sleep before I have to get up in 5 hours. Actually, I thought that the ringing was my alarm."

THEN HE APOLOGIZED FOR 10 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!! I not only understand, but appreciate the apology, but for the love! Just say "sorry. I can call later--or shoot you an email."

In summary: do not call me at 1am on a work night. You have been warned.