Family Shenanigans

My grandfather has finally realized that he is old. At 78, many of his high school companions (he lives in the same small town that he grew up in), friends and relatives have started to slowly but surely kick the bucket. Clearly, the best response to this epiphany is to have a family reunion!

On Saturday, we all gathered in a barn and chatted over various random foods and, of course, alcohol. I had to work on Saturday, so I didn't get there until around 6pm, at which point everyone else had been there for quite some time. This put me at a huge disadvantage in many, many ways. First, when I arrived my darling cousin Kenzi ran into the barn shouting for joy that I had arrived. Second, my parents when choosing which child to talk about, and aparently I am more fun to discuss. Third, everyone was quite happy at this point.

So into the barn I walk, and my greeting is: "At your library, do they have filters against porn?"

Uhh... well, juvenille internet is filtered, but I am unaware of any adult restirctions. I know that some does still get through, but it is not a huge problem at our location. Who are you?

Tall, slightly drunk but friendly relative replied, "The reason I ask is, I'm a county commissioner, and I have these evangelical pricks on me about it all the time, but an action to filter the internet would just open a bag of worms."

Oh, okay...who are you...

I didn't know ANYone, ANYONE that was outside of 2 degrees from me. I knew my grand parents, and my cousins. I did not know my grandparents' siblings, I did not know their siblings' children. But they all knew SO much about me...creepy.

And then my grandpa was all "Are you spending the night here?"

All smiles and innocence: "I sure am, Grandfather!"

"That's gerat! Do you want a beer?"

All smiles, less innocence: "Oh, no worries, I'm already on my third Kamakazi! Yay!"


To continue in the great tradition of family shenanigans that have engulfed the past few days, the prodigal son has returned. Much without warning, I might add. You think he could have called when they left California in their p.o.s. van, if only so that someone would know where they are...

Have I ever mentioned, dear friends, that it bothers me how he takes advantage of my parents. I am totally cool with him being in a band and following his dream and touring. Forget that he failed out of community college's vocal music program, forget that I think that their band effing sucks: it's not cool to leech off of your parents at the age of 24. Maybe I have high standards. Maybe it would bother me less if he, say, helped with the dishes, mowed the lawn, or even did his own laundry.

I have resigned myself to the fact that he will not: get a real job, further his education, spend his "allowance" wisely, or even do something productive with his life. Am I really asking that much? Really?

Perhaps it is a double standard. I am currently living at home. But I do chores, have a stable job, and am going to school...and I fully intend to move out once mono is ready.

*sigh*

In other news, Lola is officially devoid of hope. I am searching for a new, preferably shiny car. Whoa is me.