Dear nice but unattractive Tenor in Schola;

I understand that you are a dork.  I also understand that your kind tend to salivate when girls like SleepyMono and I know the difference between Superman and Bizaro.  I also understand that your attraction increases because I am thin and nice.

I am sorry if I misled you in any way when you overheard me say to SopranoRed that I would totally marry Josh Groban so that he could serenade me every night.  I know that you interpretted this to mean that I will love you if you sing to me. I am sorry.  That is not the case.  You see, when Josh Groban sings, I do not want it to stop.  Also, I find him to be terribly attractive.  He is my kryptonite.

Please stop staring at me.

Respectfully,

~me